Blah.

i'm feeling a tad bit better this morning,
but i have this knawing feeling in the pit of my stomach.
like somethin's wrong or like i'mma get some bad news.
i dunno.
they call it intuition,
and usually mine's dead on.
i had to call my Mama Linda yesterday,
i got to feeling so horrible
that i was crying it hurt so bad.
she's one of the FEW people who
know how to fix me when sumin's wrong.
i love her so much,
she really is my Mama.
i think it's the nicotine patches
causing my nausia & trembles & that jittery feeling.
so i took off the patch.
i'm home, so i'm not around cig smoke,
so i haven't craved it.
i told Cheryl that if the craving got too bad,
that i'll be damned, I wasn't wearing the patch anymore,
she could go buy a pack of smokes,
hide them from me,
& when the craving gets to the point of pain,
she can hand me one cig & i prolly wouldn't even be able to smoke it all.
but i'm tellin yall,
i REFUSE to feel that frikkin shitty because of a GD nicotine patch.
i can conquer my addiction this way much better than those patches.
i'm feeling kinda sad today,
i dunno why.
maybe bc i'm tired of feeling sick,
or maybe its auntie Flo.
i'm just damnit ready to feel better,
i know that.
so fer now,
i'mma just gonna jam to the Queen,
Mrs. Reba McEntire.
She always cheers me up & makes me feel better,
she's kinda like that rare friend you have,
the one that cheer you up when
you're at your lowest sad point,
or at your most pissy moment,
she just somehow knows how to soothe my soul.
its a given that with her,
a smile will creep across my face.
i'm off to go listen to some " Cathy's Clown ".
she's been signed onto the Las Vegas Hilton Resort
for a non consecutive 6 week run of concerts.
tickets start at like $138, BUT...
you can buy meet, n, greet tickets + VIP seats for $238.
DAMNIT
i wish more than ANYTHING i could go to THAT concert.
* sigh *
i guess i should be thankful for the concerts i have seen,
and the fact that i got meet her.
but damn...
that Vegas run makes me foam at the mouth
like Harley around big dogs.
jesus,
i get heart palputations at the mere thought.
i'mma go dream a lil dream
and dream of tasting that wish i'll never have.
peace out, yall.