Agonizing, Day 4...HELP Is In Sight

Better mood...
Still getting the cravings.
Paid all my house hold bills today.
I'mma good house wifey.
I miss home already.
I miss my Mawmaw,
my boys,
and dare I say,
Margaret.
I'd love to try to visit friends
that I didn't get to see while I was there for Crimmus.
Goin to Dr. in the A.M.
Pap Smear, Pelvic Exam.
Woohoo.
Momma - In - Law might go in with me,
I hope she does.
Not to be all lookin at my cooch.
But just to stand beside my head & hold my hand to comfort me.
I hope she will.
Then,
THen,
THEn,
THEN,...
Dr Montgomery gonna get a mouth full from me.
(Shut up to you pervs, that ain't wtf I meant.)
I'mma bitch about my shoulders still hurtin,
that the Ultracet ain't cuttin it.
THEN, I'mma be like I ain't had a smoke since 12/31/05.
I'm in pain, I ache all over.
I'm angry, pissy, and wanna be left alone.
Advil, Tylenol, IBrophen...that fake shit AINT FUKKIN WORKIN.
Then I'mma tell him I don't have my next Psychiatrist Appt. until Feb. 5th,
so I can't get my Xanax re-written until then. Last time I filled was late Nov.
My anxiety levels since the absence of the cig, has DRAMATICALLY SKYROCKETED.
HE'S GOT TO HELP A CRAZY BIOTCH LIKE ME...
Bc I am in physical & mental pain.
I feel like I'm about to cross my line,
to my breaking point.
He HAS to help me.
I told a couple of ppl. today,
that I'd rather go through w/drawals of pills for the rest of my life,
than to go through w/drawal of cigs for 3 weeks.
Its your Pre-K Naptime ( with the detoxing from the pills ),
whereas, detoxing with cigs, is your Grad School Class of the Internal Workings of an Elephant.
Today, during the day, was better.
I spent play time with both Cheryl & my Dog.
THAT was fun.
I kept puttin his ass in her face,
LMFAO!!

Anyways, I'mma leave yall with these lyrics...
Peace, Luv, 'N, Chicken Gas.



Wrong Night Lyrics

I set my mind to it said
I wasn't gonna do it
no how so sir no way
I wouldn't give my heart up
gonna keep my guard up
and save it for another
Then you walked in with that crazy grin
and everything I swore before
Got lost in your eyes and flew right out the door
Suddenly I heard love songs
playing real soft on the jukebox
Somebody ordered up moonlight
and painted stars all across the sky
Is it gravity or destiny
either way there's nothing I can do
Looks like I picked the wrong night
not to fall in love with you
I briefly resisted but my heart insisted
it was gonna be giving in
Hard as I was trying there was no denying
which one of us would win
You came up beside me and asked if I'd be
Wantin' to have a dance
Right then I knew this thing was out of my hands
Suddenly I heard love songs playing real soft on the jukebox
Somebody ordered up moonlight
and painted stars all across the sky
Is it gravity or destiny
either way there's nothing I can do
Looks like I picked the wrong night
not to fall in love with you
Suddenly I heard love songs
playing real soft on the jukebox
Somebody ordered up moonlight
and painted stars all across the sky
Is it gravity or destiny
either way there's nothing I can do
Looks like I picked the wrong night
not to fall in love with you
Looks like a wrong night
not to fall in love with you