La La Dee Dah

so the crack pot therapist
wasn't so bad today
oh if only she could stay that way!!
Bella's down with a migraine
i'm glad i don't have them anymore
they are crippling
my poor wittle baby
wisabus said she'd be interested in going on a vacation with us
time to do research
September
to off set the sadness of that month
well I gtg...
time to be domestic

*sigh*

So Lance Bass came out.
Gee, he didn't scream QUEEN already, did he?!
Debbie Matenopolis (sp.?) went back on The View. Jessica Simpson is gonna be Rosie's first guest. De ja vu, anybody? (She was the first guest for The Rosie O'Donnell Show.) Shiloh Jolie-Pitt or whatever is now her own wax figure in Madame Toussaint's (sp.?). Hmm, if that isn't proof that society's standards have changed, I dunno WHAT is... I dunno what's wrong with me, but i am becoming ADDICTED to reality shows. Hogan Knows Best, My Fair Brady, Kathy Griffin's D-Listed, DOG, Project Runway, Idol...its sickening. I don't have much to say. So, peace, love, 'n chicken ass.

DEMANDiNG Golden Girls!!

Alright yall fellow GOLDEN GIRLS fanatics...Lifetime is adding the WB show, Reba, to its lineup. (A major plus for me.) However, they are planning on airing Reba at 6 pm Monday-Friday. NOO!!!! This SUCKS!! Click the link & send them a quick note DEMANDING this not happen. I enclosed my letter. Feel free to copy & paste it to use as your own letter.

http://www.lifetimetv.com/about/write.html

While it is truly superb that REBA will be added onto the lineup, (and I MAJORLY applaud that!!)...it is an atrocious catastrophe that the Golden Girls won't be on at 6 pm. EVERYDAY at 6...has become an institution in itself. You KNOW what time it is in my home (at 6 pm) I must demand the mainstay of my beloved Golden girls monday through friday at 6 pm.

Who needs NASCAR?! 

LMFAO!! 

Eww!! 

Jerry!!

LoL, this is some damn shit, yall!!
Take a look at the Jerry Springer Love Line site
http://www.monkeyspit.net/sites/loveline/


Jerry Springer Lyrics (Weird Al Yankovic)

been, one week since we got to see,
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
5 days since they had the show with the hermaphrodite
the slut, and the crackhoe
3 days since we heard the tale about the guy who learned
his woman was a she-male.
Yesterday, it occured to me, that I'd been watching a bit too
much Jerry Springer
Holy cow, didya see it last week?
Well they had this one freak,
Who suckered punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl became a total 'free-for-all'
and jerry's in the middle trying to be the referee?
Hey, see the stripper with the implants?
She likes to lap-dance, and date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here comes Jerry's next guest, and it's a slug fest cuz
it's her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniac is back on crack it's like when animals attack
they all exhibit reprehensible behaviour
hit em in the nose tear off their clothes step on their toes
thats how it goes
they get so violent they have to sign a waiver.
They're always swearin' cursin' kickin' butt and pointin'
blame
on the air they dont care they got no shame.
There was one guy I'm sure he felt a little strange, when he
found
out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly,
They have a history of ripping off their shirts...
It's been one week since they had the fight,
with the Siamese twins and the transvestite
5 days since that awful brawl,
They still haven't got the blood off the wall, it's been
3 days since the bitter feud between the KKK and the gay
Jewish
black dude
Yesterday, it finally dawned on me, that I'd been watching
a bit too much Jerry Springer
[Spoken]
Baby, I've been sleeping with your sister.
Ugh! Which one?
All of 'em!
Well I've been sleeping with you're best friend, Jay!
Yeah? Well, well...
Me too and I've been sleeping with your dog, Woofie
Woofie, you bitch! Well I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!
That goat doesn't love you!
Once you start watching, there's just no stopping
Your brain shuts down, and your IQ's dropping.
Jerry's the king of confrontation, he's a sensation,
he puts the sin in sindication
He's totally worthless like a bad check, he's like a trainwreck,
Don't want to stare, but you can't look away.
Like Sally Jesse, he does talk shows, but with more weirdos,
The rating's jumping higher every day
If you've seen the show, then you know it's about as low as you can go,
The guests are tacky, and they're lacking in their hygiene
Then pretty soon, some ugly goon comes in the room,
and then it's boom in the face of some unsuspecting drag queen
Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities,
yanking hair, throwing chairs at their hubbies.
Jerry, Jerry, now the crowd starts their favourite chant
Should I turn off my TV?
I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously, I have a history of taping each one
It's been one week since the show about,
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
5 days since the big surprise, when some loser's wife said that shes still datin' 20 guys,
3 days since the interview, a bunch of psychic pornstar midgets who were all nude,
Yesterday it occured to me, that I've been watching a bit too much jerry Springer
Tired of wasting my time on that Jerry Springer,
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger

Pickled Shit

*WooT*
thursday,
Bella & I went to the family pool
her niece & nephews are SOO adorable!!
i felt so bad for her oldest nephew
he'd JUST put new rims, tires, & a stereo on his truck
(which, is his baby, other than the fire dept.)
his little brother, long story short,
wrecked his truck.
friday
Bella took an hour to pickle some shit
that wouldn't ever go within a twenty foot range of my mouth
but my Momma 'bout shit her pants with excitement
when Bella brought her two jars of unidentified pickled shit (UPS, LoL)
anyways, after she finished pickling,
we went swimming AGAIN
(i personally love swimming there,
its private, 'cept fer sometimes the closeted dyke & her pre-pedifile brother
and ya don't feel like you're swimming in a big ol' cess pool of piss)
Bella fed & watered the horses
while I watched a hornet drown
and had a simple epiphany that i love burping
its so freeing
*sigh*
then we went home,
shit, showered, & shaved.
(Nah, we didn't shit or shave, its just a Mawmaw saying)
we packed our bags & our dog,
and headed home to FLORENCE!!
we got to my Mom's
and settled in
then i took off to go visit with friends
i was gone bout an hour
I almost lost my Tink watch (oh no!!)
But I safely got it back (Yeahhhh!!)
then came back to my Mom's
my boys are the cutest,
most aggrevatinest,
adorable children ever!!
Alex doesn't have sleep apnea,
he's like me,
he just can't shut off his brain to go to sleep
Margaret LOVES bragging
about buying her hundred dollar shoes
*gasp*
and Ellis is now permenantly attached to their new X Box
Bella & I spent the second night down at Mawmaw's
LAWZZZY- MERCY!!
I'm SHO NUFF glad we took our sinus meds
I love spending time with Mawmaw
But them damn cats...
I still want them to have a 'mysterious disappearance'
Boo still scares me
(Its the eyes & multiple personalities)
I officially loathe my "uncle" Jeff
My Momma packed us up with yummy deer meat before we left
that's gonna be some GUUUUD cookin!!
Ummmm... I think that's about it
we came on back to our wonderful little humble abode
where Harley promptly visited dream land
and Bella cooked us some BOILED P-NUTS!!
i had a GREAT weekend!!
i am SOOO Blessed!!
Peace, Luv, 'N Chicken Farts

***Oh, a word for the wise,...NEVER EVER fart in someone's face, accident or not***

only in hartsville...

Suspect shocks Hartsville officer with his own Taser

FLORENCE - A suspect managed to remove his handcuffs and shock a Hartsville police officer with his own Taser gun, authorities say.
Steve Lee Menius, 30, was arrested at his home Tuesday after police arrived with a warrant for violating his probation.
While being driven to the Darlington County jail in the back of the police car, Menius managed to get his hands out of his handcuffs and tried to climb in the front seat, Hartsville Police Chief Tim Kemp said.
During the struggle, Menius grabbed the officer's Taser and shocked him, Kemp said.
The officer pulled to the side of the road and got out of the cruiser to continue to fight with Menius, who then jumped back inside the car and drove off, Kemp said.
Police chased Menius briefly, and he was arrested again when he jumped from the cruiser after a train blocked his way, police said.
Menius has also been charged with assaulting a law enforcement officer and failing to stop for a blue light.

with you.

i close my eyes to feel the warmth of your cheek. i transport myself to our bed at night. your feet touching mine, your warmth reviving my soul, and your hand next to my heart. the tiresome day has given way to the predictable guiding stars. the moon's light invites the mischevious fairies to come out and play in the safety of the night's darkness. yet it awakens my imagination and my soul, it makes my heart race, because i know when the moon's rays touch this home, its my invitation right into the safety of your arms. it is there in your arms, in our own little world, my imagination gets a little on the mischevious side. tranquil love shines on as our souls become intertwined and become one. your touch calms me. this peace is nothing i've ever had. not even in my imagination, where fairies dance in delight. with you, the stars are within my grasp, the fairies come out to play, and our souls dance in the heavens.

Aging Gracefully & The Phantom Squishee

Courtesy of farts.com :
_________________________________
I remember one night at work, this old man was finishing up his dinner and went to use the restroom. About 30 minutes later, someone came in just to use the can. That guy came out running and said "You better check on him." I went towards the men's room and the smell of raw turds was off the scale. I found the old man in there with his underwear in a wad of TP totally soiled. After helping him clean up, I decided to view the carnage. There was a turd about the size of a bowling ball in the bottom of the bowl. It completely blocked the hole and the poo water was at the top. I left and told the two employees that were working to go look at it. I believe it scarred then for life, they came out of there and the were completely grossed out. I ended up having to go outside and get a stick to break up that turd so it would go down. I was really feeling bad about that old man after that. I bet it was as painful as giving birth when he was passing that. He came back in a few weeks later thinking that I might have forgotten about his ordeal, but I had not. I tried to put on my best pokerface when I waited on him, but I think he knew the jig was up. I haven't seen much of him lately and I just hope that's not because he is too embarrassed about his restroom disaster.
__________________________
There I was in the passenger seat of his car while he ran into the store to get some milk. I thought I had enough time to let out a little fart while he was out of the car. It's 106 in California today so we had the a/c running and I figured the circulating air would dampen any potential threat to inner cabin pressure.It started out slow and as anticipated, lifted one cheek and let out a toot ... but it got away on me. It went Pop .... ffffffffwappaaa, the second fart shot out so fast and felt like a diahrea blast. I could not be sure if I had followed through, I had no time to react because there he was heading back to the car. Such a handsome hottie that he is, he winked at me from outside of the car and the only thought that crossed through my mind was, "Oh please don't let there be a skidmark inside my skirt ... look at the way he's smiling ... oh please don't let this smell." (An entire conversation took place in my head of the what-ifs) So as I'm sitting there trying to act like nothing is wrong, the faint scent of ass was in the air ... "had I accidentally left a skidder? Was it just a fart?" (Running over and over in my mind as I tried to assess the damages without physically reaching between my legs and feeling for anything .. "out of the norm") I knew that if I did that, he'd think it was his lucky day .. no way in hell would he think I'd be performing a checkwipe in his passenger seat. (Good Lord) So ... as I'm trying to do a hands-free low key ass-essment, he suggests we go to KFC. (NoooOOOoooooooo I needed to know, the uncertainty was killing me, so naughty, so dirty ... just take me home) I smiled and said, sure, but let's go through the drive-thru ok (Please drive thru, do not suggest going inside ... I prayed he didn't want to go in) The humiliation was extreme and I still didn't know if I had made a little accident or not ... I nearly cried out when he ordered "gravy" on his fries. When we arrived back home I wasn't sure what would happen when I got out of the car, probably would have felt a little more secure if I had been WEARING panties. (Oh the double whammy shame of it) So I carefully got out of the car, making sure to keep my legs tight together and hurried to open the front door. I let on that I had to use the bathroom really bad so that he'd be busy getting the stuff out of the car while I ran to do the dreaded Check wipe.Once inside I scampered down the hall and into the bathroom .... grabbed some toilet paper and began to perform the examination of the possible area of impact. Nothing was there, it was a phantom squishee .... a fart that had felt like a waterpik. So I endured about 35 minutes of uncertainty for nothing .... Feeling quite relieved, I've come away from this with a few lessons.#1) do not fart in a passenger seat when it's 106 degrees out, humidex will make you wonder if you've just airbrushed yourself #2) do not attempt a fart when out in public without panties on

Random Thoughts

fmu is a pile of shit i can't shake
fukkers
wisabus came
(i got my new golden girls t-shirt!!)
relaxtion relaxation relaxation
great to know there is more "family" in my graduating class
sunday
cheryl & i went swimming with the kids
Milkyway joined in for a swim too
today
i registered
english & american history
(didn't feel like dealing with the math)
*WooT*
not feeling too well
not a lot of energy
feel drained
but in fair spirits
going home at some point in time this week,
hopefully
i am pretty sure my therapist & psychologist
are crack pot, Mrs. Foreman disillusioned wanna-be's
i gave in to my old habit of not being able to keep any suprises from Bella
her new Buddha water fountain looks perfect in our living room
its amongst the seashell lamp,
sea shells,
DaVinci Code-ish calendar,
and perfect sand dollars
its SO tranquil
the thunderstorm we had was frikkin AMAZING
we briefly sat on our back porch to watch it
Rumor has It
(i'm speaking of the movie, but the song is a legendary classic in itself, All HAIL Reba!!)
was pretty good
kinda disturbing at some points
gotta love shirley mcclaine (sp.?)
aniston...
pitt had to idea to wife swap
(btw, the chick on Wife Swap tonight is a Vegan who HATES eating, so watch "sun gazes" because it "supresses her appetite"...boy that's a crocka shit. I love my Bella, but i'll be damned if she's gonna make me give up meat...not that she'd try because we LOVE our chicken and our BBQ ribs)
yall hear bout Bush Jr makin an ass out of himself (again) at the G8 convention?
no suprise there
yall remember to raise awareness about the Marriage Amendment Vote in November...
MARRIAGE IS NOT DEFINED BETWEEN ONE MAN & ONE WOMAN!!
i'm out of fart stories at the moment...
gimee a while to "load up"
(i know that was dorky but i see the humor)
happy farting, yall!!

Crack Pot Therapy & Stinkin Up The Bathroom

hola!!
today my crack pot therapist explained to me
the ocean
ever changing
but the "amazing" thing is the floor isn'y affected by the "commotion of the top"
*sigh*
have yall ever been with someone who shit up a Wal-Mart bathroom,
while the other people made faces at the over powering stench?
that's some hilarious shit (no pun intended)
anyways
i gtg,
wisabus is coming for the night
peace, love, 'n stank farts

I’m comin clean…
I got a lot on my chest.
This school stuff…
It has begun.
I have to take a test to see which Math class I’m eligible for.
That class will be a hybrid class.
It means half of the class I take at school,
half I take at home on the pc via the internet.
I’m sick to my stomach with my nerves,…Fear of looking stupid, Fear of failing.
And bc its dumb ass me, fear for my safety at school. I take my placement test on Monday.ACHK!!!
Movin on,….Cheryl spent three hours today filling out applications. Her nerves were workin her, too. Then we got hit a double slammie;I got a sinus headache, she got the beginnings of a Migraine.
I think somehow, by the grace of God & Buddha, we were able to get out of that one. It wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been.
I am very thankful for today. It could have been WAAAAAAY worse, But all together, it wasn’t that bad.
*sigh* okay, here comes the serious stuff every night, I make it a tradition to call my Mawmaw via telephone to ask her how she’s feeling, and to say g’night and most importantly, to tell her that I love her. I kept my promise to both Nana and myself. I see Mawmaw slipping, ya know. The helplessness that was there years leading to Nana’s departure, is that same level of helplessness I feel with Mawmaw. There is this relentless feeling about Mawmaw. It’s a sense of trouble. Every night when I say my prayers this is what I say: “Please God especially Bless my Mawmaw. I hope nothing happens to her, but if it should, please prepare my heart. Please keep her safe from harm’s way, healthy as can be, but mostly, keep her alive. Thank you for allowing me the honor to be her grand-daughter. Amen.” Kinda sappy, I know. But fact is, I’m scared.
But I digress in true Sophia style…Cheryl got the Buddha water fountain I got her. Yup, yup. Said she liked it. I do. I believe we may be close to gettin the Yorkie I want. With the money my Mom will give us…Yes, I believe Tink just may resurrect again. That is all I hafta say for now. Peace, Love, ‘n Pumba Farts.

A Breath of Fresh Air

“The biggest terrorist in the world is George W. Bush,” ~Cindy Sheehan
“That lying bastard, George Bush, is taking a five-week vacation in time of war, ... tells me why my son died in Iraq. I've got the whole month of August off, and so does he.” ~Cindy Sheehan
“If you fall on the side that is pro-George, and pro-war, you get your ass over to Iraq, and take the place of somebody who wants to come home. And if you fall on the side that is against this war and against George Bush, stand up and speak out.” ~Cindy Sheehan
"What our children are dying for is to make their government's war machine rich,” ~Cindy Sheehan
"My son was killed in 2004. I am not paying my taxes for 2004. You killed my son, George Bush, and I don't owe you a penny.” ~Cindy Sheehan


**We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness… Thomas Jefferson**

"He Who Smelled It...Died"

For your entertainment pleasure...
_____________________

I forgot to tell you guys about this and I have a spare chunk of time to write about it so here goes.Around christmas time I got pretty sick.. bad case of the flu that was mostly down to where I work (in a studio that is part of a call centre..) there are ALOT of people working there and passing germs around and sure enough, I got sick.. really sick.My company doesnt pay me for sick yet as I havent been there long so I had to force myself to go to work and I was living on Dayquill for daytime and Nyquill for the evening shift.. I hadnt eaten in days and felt like death warmed up.Now anyone who has read my stories before will know Im a bit of a danger farter and tend to take risks when I really shouldnt.. infact there is already a story about me where I told stories of shitting my pants on a few occasions before.. but just when you thought it was safe to wear those boxers.. Yip, I shit my pants.. and it was ten times more horrible than I had ever managed before.Now, all that Dayquill and Nyquill made me kinda drowsy.. and, all the aspirin and stuff had started to mess with my stomach.. but I didnt realise this as the painkillers in it were working well.So one night my wife tells me our cousin Erin is coming over for dinner (tacos and stuff) and reluctantly I agreed to eat (I wasnt hungry at all).So the tacos were made and we ate.. I went and got a shower and dressed for work and then came out in the living room and felt my colon expand.. now this has only happened to me a few times in my entire life, but it feels like a balloon is up your colon and when that happens I produce timeless masterpieces of flatulence.I grabbed an ass cheek (my wife and 2 cousins were still at the table) and said "here guys, check this fucker out !!" and proceeded to slowly but rippingly loudly let a work of art go from my arsehole.But it sounded.. how do I put it? razzy and different. I didnt want to stop though because it was sooo long and loud and I didnt want to ruin a hall of famer fart for nothing.When I finally stopped farting about 15 seconds later I realised that I had shit myself.. BADLY.Because of all the painkillers I must have been numb to it roaring from my arse and I had shit EVERYWHERE.Not only in my boxer shorts but all down my legs.. the boxer shorts in the first couple of sharts I ever did managed to contain the whole explosion.. but not this time.So with 20 mins left for work I went into the bathroom to strip.. and the thing was I SO BADLY needed to go to crap but I couldnt sit on the toilet because I had shite all down the backs of my legs So I showered, took a runny dump and then went off to work.The clothes I had worn were put in the washing machine but I had spilled some poo on the floor and my cousin accidentally put his washing basket on it.. It took about 3 days to totally de-poo the apartment.. it was definitely the WORST shart I have ever performed.
_________________________

I remember this time when i was 10 or 11. That we went for a day trip out to Ocean City. Well the whole day went well and we all had a ball. But Then we decided to go eat at a Phillips sea food restaurant. I had crab cake platter and imediately after I had eaten it I got odd pains from my sphinter up to my throat. I wasnt sure what was going on at this point but I was sort of figuring it wasnt gonna be pretty ugly later on. Well when as we proceded to leave the pains subscided with one hell of a gurgle and alot of odd squealing. And me being a royal dumb ass put it off and though it would be an enormous fart my father would be proud of. So bout 50 miles out side of ocean city the pains came back mind you we still had a good 280 miles to go yet. As the time passed it got increasingly worse and worse to the point I was almost in tears. I then remember doing an oopsie by letting off some silent but extremely rancid gas. And I soon had to do the classic WOOP! total butt hole clench. For atleast 10 to 20 miles this saga continued. Then we my dad pulled into a gas station in the middle of who knows where and this is where things got rather hairy one might say. There was a line of 5 or 6 people and i was stuck standing there like a god damn shmuck with a potential load in my pants. When i finaly got down to next in line I started banging on the door and yelling at this lady who had obviously been doing her make up. She quickly snapped open the door and gave me the sourest of looks. She muddered in audible words and tore of out of the gas station in a terrible huff. Then I sort of did the crapola waltz into the commode and throughly released my load. As I sat down on the thrown I experienced imediate bowel evacutaion. At this point that little bath room was deamed inhabitable even for me. I mean this bath room was so small it was basicaly a janitors closet with a toilet and no room for a sink. But anyways back to the story at hand here. Well as round 1 ended I looked around and noticed I splattered the walls. This wasnt my problem nor did I honestly give a flying rat fart in hell. Bout this time round 2.1 kicked in and it was just as violent as the 1st. The stench was of rotting shell fish and sulphur. I have never felt more releaved in my entire life.

"To live is an awfully great adventure."

i see the show, intervention, and it reminds me of candice and of myself, so much. every girl addict on the show is me, is her. the sober life is magnificent. everything is real, is simple, not complicated or drama filled. it breaks my heart every time i think of the hurt i caused to my Bella, to my family, friends, and past lovers. the self destruction i put myself through is now mind boggling. how ignorant could i have been? how scared could i have been? what could i have been so scared of? addiction does not make you a coward. addiction is a prison warden that cripples you. it cripples ever aspect of you. how could i have possibly thought that i loved others when i couldn't even love myself? all along, i thought that i needed somebody to save me. what i needed was to believe in myself, so i could love myself, and love Bella. i may have some "colorful" ex's, but i cannot say that they didn't love me, even if in their own way. i remember the effect of my mistakes in losing the few whom i did love. Bella, i couldn't lose her. i can't. it may be simple to say that my relationship with her is the fabric fairytales are made of, but it is true. but most of all, it is real. i wish upon all wishes i've ever made, that i could undo my addiction, that way i could erase all the pain i've ever caused her. but, thank God her love for me is true. thank God, i had that wake up call that i needed to find my reality...and fast. i had come too far to go back to that rock bottom. in a way i did hit rock bottom again, i hadn't quite gotten there yet. but once it was in view, fortunately, i recognized it and corrected the situation. i don't think i'm healed from my addiction. but i think that my fear, my fear of losing Bella, my fear of losing my family again, my fear of losing myself...that fear is what stops me. i refuse to lose what i've worked so hard to gain. i am clean, even from nicotine. i am clean, i have been clean for a while, i am staying clean. i love me, i love my life, and i now completely cherish and love my family and friends. i hope and pray that candice finds her rock bottom, finds her fear. maybe then, she can find herself. it is quite ironic that she is now my idol of what i strive not to be. now that both her and the drugs are gone, the chains of imminent death are vanished too. "to live, truly is the greatest adventure,..." said peter pan. how true that is.

Stupid Quote of the Day

Never fight an inanimate object. -P. J. O'Rourke

Farts

Loud and Super
Over the years I have let off a lot of farts, some loud some not so loud but I remember one, one that was my favourite fart ever. It was at a Church. Now I never fart in church and if I have ever felt the urge to fart and I have needed to really bad I go outsite or go to the toilet. Anyway I had gone this time in church with just holding the fart in. I also met a friend and stayed back a while talking to him until it was just him and me. He does readings at Church and I wanted to talk to him. As he went he turned back and said "ohh I forgot my microphone." I turned and said "ohh don't worry I will gettit for you, its at the front isn't it?"He nodded his head and walked outside and I went to the front where the alter was and got his microphone, it was also plugged in still. Now I didn't think it was on and I bent down on my knees to undo the plug and I as I bent down I let off a very surprisingly long fart. This also being infront of the microphone this went through all the speakers in the room. I unplugged it and fell down laughing. The Priest came in and went "What was that?" in a worried tone. I just laughed not wanting to tell him I had farted in front of the church. I felt a little embarresed but was overcome with laughted, and I just walked off with the Priest wondering what on Earth had just happened. I didn't go back to that church for a loooooooong time.

*story attained from*
Fart.com

WTF?!

ST. PETERS, Missouri (AP) -- A woman angry that her new puppy had died pushed her way into a dog breeder's home and repeatedly hit her on the head with the dead Chihuahua, authorities said.
The 33-year-old woman told police she had taken the puppy to a veterinarian, who said it was only 4 weeks old and needed to be returned to its mother. But before she could return the puppy, it died.
Early Wednesday, the woman went to the breeder's home, pushed her way inside and began fighting with the breeder as she tried to make her way to the basement to get another puppy, police said.
The breeder wrestled the woman out of her house to the front porch, where the woman then hit the breeder over the head numerous times with the dead puppy, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported, citing police.
As the woman drove away, she waved the dead puppy out of the car's sunroof and yelled threats at the breeder, police said. She later called the breeder and threatened her and her family, according to court records.
Police said they are considering felony burglary and misdemeanor assault charges against the woman.

Star Fish...LoL 

Star Roker...LMFAO!! 

Demise, Blessings, Puppy, & Cruising

okay so the star jones shit just fascinates me.
why, i haven't a clue.
its just so frikkin HILARIOUS!!
c'mon, people!!
rosie wasn't her demise...
she was her own demise.

speakin of demise,
i know two people who have very recently lost close family members.
my hearts goes out to them.
my thoughts and prayers are with them.

it makes me think about my Mawmaw.
she is gradually getting worse.
her memory has taken a hike down the shitter.
her side is effecting (??) her more & more these days.
it scares me, ya know.
i'm not ready to lose her.
i know,
that is selfish and definately not the Buddist way.
but i mean,
my heart knows the truth.
i did keep my promise to myself and to my Nana though.
my grandma knows without ANY doubt that i love her.
she knows that to be,
just as the sun rises each mourn.
and i think that someday,
i'm going to have to be okay with that,
find my comfort in that.
but for now,
i'm taking comfort that i still have my Mawmaw.
she is the most cherished person to me, ever.
everyday i have with her, is a Blessing within itself.
i am in deep gratitude that i am even lucky enough to be her grand daughter.
when i doubted love for myself,
or doubted or lost my love from others,
her love for me has not once waivered.
that is true love, i think.
that is what life is all about.

*getting a grip on myself*

cheryl & i are contemplating our first big purchase together.
doesn't seem like its that big-o-deal,
but put yourself in our shoes and it is a big deal.
we are taking our time wieghing everything out.
we would not want to purchase anything we couldn't afford in the long run.
that would be just plain ig'nant.

we did finally decide on the type of dog we want.
we want a baby female red mini doxie.
although harley has playmate everywhere we go,
we feel he needs one at home to snuggle, play, and sleep with.

i saw that kathy griffin is scheduled to be on the current cruise
for the we r family cruise lines.
they're goin to alaska this time.
gawd, that woulda been PERFECT for Bella and me.
she is memserized by alaska,
i am MESMERIZED by rosie,
and i think kathy is HILARIOUS!!

kathygriffin.net
rosie.com

July 4th!!

July 4th was so frikkin cool!!
Cheryl & I bought fireworks for the first time together.
(Aww!!)
We had a cookout at her parents'.
BBQ Ribs...Mmmm...
DELICIOUS!!
Then we rode our four wheeler to pass the time.
That was great!!
Finally, dark fell upon us.
We shot off our fireworks successfully...
We didn't almost get arrested (like I did a couple of years ago),
NOR did any part of me catch on fire.
I wonder how HIGHHhhhhhhhhh Boo was...
While shootin the fireworks,
I laughed my ba-honk-us off at every one.
I felt like a four year old.
But hey, that's okay,
I'm young at heart.
Anyways,
God Bless The USA


"...Moonlight and you hear beside me.
Crickets serenadin' in the yard.
What more could two people ask for.
Laying here in love beneath the stars.
Now this is where I wanna raise my kids.
Just the way my mom and daddy did.

I was born country and that's what I'll always be.
Like the rivers and the woodlands wild and free.
I got a hundred years of down home running through my blood.
I was born country and this country's what I love..."

Farts & Indecisiveness

this weekend
was memorable, LoL!!
saturday,
we were gonna go to the concert in finlay park...
so we went to Cola.
we went to Micheal's, first,
the arts & crapps store.
walking farts, anybody?
"let 'er rip, let 'er fly"...
Bella's matto.
i found the things i needed for my mosaic wall hanging.
upon leaving there,
we decided it was too hot for the concert.
so to the ATM for some cash to go out to eat.
we were extremely undecisive on choosing where to go eat.
so i said, let's drive around til we see something that grabs us.
soon there after,
i saw a cracker barrel billboard.
my mouth watered immediately.
then we saw the ihop sign.
indecisiveness again.
we flip a coin and it lands on cracker barrel.
we get there for a 20 minute wait.
i'm like HELL NO.
to booger king to get sumin to hold us over
til we get to o-burg's cracker barrel.
there, was a 15 minute wait.
which, ofcourse i said no to.
then we chose to either go home & rent movies,
or go to awful waffle.
flipping a coin chose to go home & rent movies.
we rented:
Madea's Family Reunion,
Brokeback,
& Memoirs of a Geisha.
Our story doesn't end there, oh nooooo....
that would be too easy.
we got home ab 8-ish.
Bella took out the Poker-Chops to put in my famous brown rice.
We'd bought them Friday, mind you...
THEY WERE ROTTEN.
so she found another pack of Pokers that didnot come with the rotten stuff,
put that in the brown rice,
put it in the oven,
gathered up the rotten meat to return it to the store,
and left.
she was gone for about 40-45 minutes.
(which is roughly about the time it takes to cook this dish)
she came back with a Boston Butt,
LoL!!
we put madea in...
its a play, not a movie.
it was okay, it dragged a bit,
but the scenes madea was in, were HILARIOUS.
our brown rice & poker chops never finished,...
we finally took them out around 10 frikkin thirty.
the meat was done, as was like most of the rice,
damn...
*whew*
i hope that was just one of those days.
LoL
sunday,
we ate sunday lunch at cheryl's mom's.
we started our mosaic piece.
(she had to help with the tedious task of glueing down the glass.)
and we watched Memoirs of a Geisha & Brokeback.
Memoirs' book was better.
Brokeback...well...had some nice BOOBIES in it, LoL.
alright, that's enough of that.
peace, love, 'n cheryl's farts.