The Wal-Mart Fart

omg!!
up at 8 & out the door @ 8:30.
as we drove to WalMart,
we saw an ASS of ppl @ this house & we were like
"whats going on, did sumone die?"
then we passed another house w/ even more ppl
IT WAS A YARD SALE
*here's ya sign*
- DUMB ASS -
when we get to WalMart i'm like uh oh
i gotta 'GO'
and not like the easy be done in a second kinda 'GO'
so as i'm in the already STUNK UP bathroom
paying my homeage to the porcelain goddesses
i'm thinkin ab my list of things to do in a public bathroom
then comes what felt like a BIG fart
so i start laughing
bc in my head,
i see the face of the chick two stalls down
when she hears me rip this huge monster
but my laughing interrupted my fart concencration process
so i couldnt do the monstrocity i'd so devilishly planned
damn
what a waste of a great fart
although it did inspire me to buy 24 rolls of Ass Paper
then Bella got a migraine
she laid down when we got home
i got online to look for something very particular
i want a patch for my bookbag
the iron-on kind
margaret gave me her Hawaiian print monogrammed LL Bean bookbag
(she got a new one this year)
so i need a patch to put over the monogram
i thought about getting the Happy Bunny
but i didnt go crazy over any of those patches
and all the Tinkerbell patches look like SHIT
Stewie was kinda mundane
the only one that halfway appealed to me was Yoda
i just want a funky, smartass, kick ass patch
so giving up, i go outside to begin revamping my garden
i accidently left my PC online
*woops*
Cheryl got up & we spent the rest of the day doin what she could with her migraine & her weed eater
(she had taken all the meds she could & was tired of laying down so she wanted to try to work through it)
i was driving stuff back & forth b/t the in-laws' house & ours
its very hard for me to drive the 4 wheeler alone
then Mr Bobby attached a basket to the front of the 4 wheeler for Harley
i made harley ride in it
the experiement was a success
at 5:30 i walked harley our normal route
when we got home
i took the car on our route to see exactly how long it was
1.25 miles
KICK ASS
maybe i'll lose a few pounds that way
or work in muscle tone either way
peace, luv, 'n walmart farts

Happy Anniversary, My Bella

My Bella,
I want to thank you for remaining by my side. I know there were so many times we could've given up. I thank the Powers That Be EVERYDAY for the wonderful Blessing of being loved by you. From the instant I heard your voice, I said you sounded like an angel. How could I know that you truly are? You are my muse, my heartbeat, my strength, my love, my "identical twin." I watch you while you sleep & become overwhelmed with emotions. What did I ever do to deserve you? Thank you for putting up with my hardheaded self. Your love has taught me what this everyday, same ol' same ol', life is all about. Our life together is everything and more than I have ever dreamt of. You are, one of the most beautiful people I have ever had the honor of loving. (Being that my Nana and my Mawmaw come before you.) I said when I met you that when I knew I'd found THE ONE for me, that my song to them would be "Bless the Broken Road." Ironically, that road would connect us,...Highway 52. I know, without any hesitation whatsoever, you ARE the love of my life. Thank you, for everything, my Bella.
Love Me Always,
Your Snoodle-Bug


I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

This Weekend & Evil

so check this out,
we had a blast this weekend!!
mason was here friday
cookout,
campfire,
& "packin" were all great when he's here.
sunday we went to a wedding on folly.
it was very interesting,
the bride wore a greyish/silvery gown,
while the bridesmaid's colors were orange.
oh and the bridesmaid's daughter was named Harleigh.
i shit yall not.
anyways,
yesterday Bella and I went to WalMart...
there was this kid riding in a buggy,
being pushed by his mom,
and had a brother walking beside the buggy.
i instantaniously knew she got beat
i dunno if it was physically, verbally, or emotionally
she was numb
void
MIA
then the kid in the buggy,...
they passed by me & this kid just stares straight into my eyes
jesus christ
he was evil.
pure 100%, ted bundy, bin laden, hussein, hitler kinda evil.
i couldnt WAIT to physically distance myself from him
i hate to say anything bad about children
if you know me, you know that.
but this kid, he was without a doubt an evil monster in the making.
God have Mercy on his soul.

p.s.- RIP Rocky. He was having seizures & died this weekend.

Kelleigh is SO precious!! Aww!! I can't wait til its our turn!! 

We got a certain 'toy' which we hafta send back bc it just aint what we wanted. So we thought it'd be HILARIOUS to "Butch up"...I almost pissed myself we were laughin so hard. We could hardly get the picture bc of tears in her eyes. 

Yea I'm packin... 

LoL, WTF look is that on my face?! 

Wassup, Bitch?! Yea you like what I got, dontcha? 

Our Mason came to see us...and mischevious fun is what we found. Him being a *FANTABULOUS* Queen, he appreciated it mucho!! 

I went to see Nana on the anniversary of her death. Those are the daisies I left behind. I love you, Nana. 

And here's our lil girl, Stella. She definately had more spunk in her than Rocky. She was smaller in size & I swear, bout twice as cute!! 

Here's the dead Armidillo that Cheryl's so fascinated with. 

DAMNIT, they are just frikkin adorable!! 

LoL, Harley's gotta sniff closer on Rocky. (Even though he flipped him in the air earlier.) 

Now, I ask you, how precious can you get? 

An even better close up. Rocky is just SO adorable, isn't he?! 

A closeup of our handsome Rocky. 

I ABSOLUTELY HATE this picture bc it looks like I got more chins than a Chink phonebook. But damn, I was just lookin down at Rocky. See how small he is?! 

Aww!! 

Here's ROCKY!! Isn't he just damnit precious?! Look how TINY he is!! 

Then Cheryl's Dad came & saved the day!! He pulled that thing out with that chain & his bare hands, he's strong as an Ox, I tell you!! 

Is that mud or shat? 

The mud is very deceiving. I put my foot in to take the picture & I just kept sinking. 

See the deep hole Cheryl made? (She had fun doin it too!!) 

These are our 4 Wheeler pictures. As you can see, the four wheeler doesn't look too stuck. But looks can be deceiving. 

Process Essay

okay so I am now working on my Process Essay for English
its worth 30% of my final grade.
*shits a gold brick*
in case you dunno what a process paper is,
its an essay describing how to do,
how to make...
you get the point.
my topic is the ONLY one i could come up with
(my creative juices must be drying out,
where's my muse, damnit?!)
my topic:
How To Properly care For A Dog.
eh.
my source i'm using for info is online
http://www.spca.bc.ca/AnimalCare/dogcare.asp
if anybody has any sites or sources i can use, please email me or let me know somehow.
peace,
love,
'n chicken farts

Much Ado About Nothing

Fall is in the air
*YEAH*
I LOVE the smell of Fall
Its my FAVORITE time of the year
NM to really say today so I'll just leave a bit before its house cleaning time!!
______________________________________
General standards of human rights apply to the people of all countries because, regardless of their cultural background, all humans share an inherent yearning for freedom, equality and dignity. Democracy and respect for fundamental human rights are as important to Africans and Asians as they are to Europeans and Americans. -His Holiness the Dalai Lama, "Harvard International Review," 1995
______________________________________

Beautiful Purple

Oh i love going home!!
Kelleigh is SOOOO beautiful!!
i simply ADORED feeding her, & holding her...
Bella said she liked seeing me hold the baby
Awww...YaY!!
Harley is a jackass
He ran after two joggers & a Spaniel
i don't understand...
He's getting more aggressive.
WTF, man?!
My venture at Aunt Gaye's
It was...
Well, I'm left speechless in descriptives, so lemee explain...
Harley had his flea meds within this past month,
Aunt Gaye's latest inheritence cat is covered with fleas
And 30 minutes later, so was Harley
We had to bathe him at Linda's.
Gah.
Diff'rent folks, diff'rent strokes, I suppose.
Alex busted out with THE FUNNIEST "Yo Mama" crack.
He said, "Yo Mama's so fat, to haul ass, she had to make 2 trips."
OMFG!!
Then when we got home, I saw the new tenants blatantly lying to Cheryl's parents.
*must....hold....back....evil*
I'll post all the pics of the squirrels & when we got bogged on the 4 wheeler asap.
Oh I got my grade for my English Narrative Essay....a 96.
This brings my English average to a 97.14.
With my History being a 90,...
this means
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I HAVE STRAIGHT A's!!
*oh and today is the 9 year anniversary of my Nana's death. i put down yellow daisies on her grave. God Bless you, Nana*

*woot*

yall will NEVER believe this...
we found ANOTHER baby squirrel!!
we called Gloria Jane & took her the female baby
turnsout she's a ckc register chi-wow-wow seller
said she'd give us a discount!!
FATE IS SO AWESOME!!

OH-- I GOT AN 'A' ON MY HISTORY EXAM!!

NOT 4 Squeemish OR Easily Offended

264 Ways To Say Vagina

anchovy sump
ball backboard
bat wings
beard
bearded clam
bearded lady
beaver
bee-hive
bikini bizkit
black velvet
boogie
bow'r o' bliss
box
bread
brownie
bud
bun
bunny hutch
bush
bushy park
business
butter churn
cabbage
cake
canal
canasta
cat
chacha
chalupa
cherry pie
cherry pop
chi chi
chick pea
chimmy-changa
chocha
chuff
chute
clam
clitoris
clitty
cockpit
cock bucket
cock holester
coin purse
conundrum
cooch
coochie
cookie
cookie jar
cooter
cootie
coozy
corncrib
crack
crease
crotch waffle
crumpet
cum bucket
cum dumpster
cunnus (Latin)
cunny
cunt (Derived from Old English cwithe, 'womb', or from quaint.)
Cuntzilla
cupid's alley
cush
cut
cuzzy
dark meat
dead end street
dickey dido
dirty barrel
dog's mouth
doughnut
duck blind
fanny
fern
Fetus Factory
flesh taco
forbidden fruit
fort bushy
fur-burger
furry cup
futy
garden
Garden of Eden
gash
Gates of Venus
genitalia
genitals
geography
ghi
gig
gigi
ginch
gonad
grand canal
grand canyon
groceries
growl
gumbo pot
hair
pie
hairy ring
hairy wheel
happy valley
hatch
hatchet wound
hatchi
hidden treasure hole
holed out
honey cupboard
honey pot
honeyspot
hoo-ha
house with pink shutters
hot-bot
hot box
jackin a box
jade gate
jaxy
jelly
jelly jar
jelly roll
jimmy slot
jing-jang
jizz jar
jiz creek
joxy
juice box
julep pitcher
kincey
kitty
labs
lips
little sister
lolly pop
lord
love canal
love grotto
love tunnel
lower deck
lumber mill
man in a boat
meat
meat curtains
milk pail
minge
money box
money maker
municipal cockwash (for the girl who has been around)
mouth
mouth organ
motar and pestle
motte
mouse trap
mowed lawn
muff
mustache
nautch
nether lips
nether regions
nook-nookie
nookey
nookie
nooky
old thing
one that bites
open faced toastada
panty hamster
pea patch
peach basket
peaches
pecker-holder
peehole
pickle pocket
pie
pink taco
piss flaps
plum (a Shakespearean euphemism for vagina.)
pocket
pokey
poom poom
pooter
poon tang
privates
promised land
pudent
pudendum
puffy pocket
pukapunce
pussy
quiff
quim
rattlesnake canyon
real thing
red snapper
rhubarb
Roast Beef root cellar
sandwich
scratch
servant's quarters
she
slash
slice
slippery slide
slit
slot
snake pit
snapping turtle
snapper
snatch
snip
snippet
squirrel's nest
special place
sperm sucker
split
split stuff
Stabin' Cabin
stash
stench trench
stuff
sugar bowl
sweet et cetera
tail
tail pipe
The Great Divide
thing
Tinkle Bird
third armpit
tool box
tongue magnet
trench
trim
trot
tuna taco
tunnel of love
tuppy
tush twam
twim
twat (term used for vagina since 17th century)
undercut
vadge
vagina
vaginal barrel
vagina diner
vee dub
velvet tunnel of love
venda
vent
vertical bacon sandwich
verticle smile
vineyard
vulva
wazoo
wedge
white meat
wick burner
woowoo
Wunder down under
X
Yyoni (Hindu)
zosh

Rocky

fate is so awesome
today i got bored so i walked over & visited with the in-laws
cheryl was sleepin.
(poor baby got off a 12 hr shift @ 7 am, had an 11:45 Dr appt, & another 2:30 Dr appt, she didn't get much sleep at all!!)
i left their house,
walked back to mine,
& harley found a tiny ball of fur on the ground
he sniffed it
and politely (i shit yall not) threw it up in the air
i called him off of it to take a look myself
it was a baby squirrel
it'd fallen outta the nest
and was shiverin and not hurt too bad
(there were no apparent injuries)
so i called cheryl's mom over
we stood there
looked at it
and left it
well...
this bugged me
didn't this poor little fellow deserve a chance to live?
(even if some rat bastard squirrels have been causing our transformer to keep blowin)
i woke cheryl up & told her
she agreed,
we couldnt just leave it there to die
so, i got a cardboard box
went outside & got the little booger
& brought him in to cheryl who was getting dressed
she called her mom bc she remembered there was an exotic petting zoo here in o-burg
i called the owner to ask how to care for the baby
he gave me the number of a girl who wanted a baby squirrel
in the meantime
we mixed an egg with warm milk & attempted to feed him through a dropper
Gloria Jane wanted him but got off work at 8
so we put a heating pad in the box, covered it with towels
and put the baby in there
we were vigilant about it not getting too hot for him
cheryl named him Rocky
he threw up twice (turns out its 'supposed to be evaporated milk)
but on the drive to the lady's workplace
he perked up & got a lil frisky
turns out
Gloria Jane's pet male squirrel had just died
he was 5 y/o
so she was SOOOO happy about him
her female pet squirrel now has a friend.
i saved a squirrels life,
made a lady happy,
gave some female squirrel a future fuck buddy,
and made a life long dream of mine come true
(i always wanted to save a wild animal from death)
not a bad day after all.

Boo-Yah Mother Fuckers

after my test yesterday
to destress i bought myself a CD
(not a habit i need to get into)
TIM MCGRAW and the DANCEHALL DOCTORS
splendid CD
his remake of TINY DANCER is better than the original
SHE'S MY KINDA RAIN makes a sentimental fool outta me every time
and I KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU WELL a thoughtful sincere ballad that'll bring a tear to your eye
i know its a CD thats a couple a years old, '02
(gah, has it been THAT long?!)
then last night
Bella did the SWEETEST thing
she bought me James Taylor's Greatest Hits CD offa Amazon
i have this old scratched up burned CD of him that i play 24/7
so she bought me one that wasn't scratched
its the little things that mean the mostest to me
that touched me so much
i, in turn, bought her something
i bought a pair of beautiful pewter goddess earrings from a fellow lesbian in decatur
she decided to throw in an extra suprise since i'mma carolina girl
she's from charleston
so i thought that was kinda cool
a lotta coincidences
everything happens for a reason
our PC's givin me trouble...again
*sigh*
hopefully VR will pull through for me double time
typing so much with school is making my hands hurt
so i'mma see about that voice activated typing program
that'd mak my life...and school, a lot easier
Heather came by today
she's really nice
we went to Cracker Barrel for brunch
all was going swell until this old man spoke to me
i know he meant well
but don't people think about other peoples' feelings anymore?
his God might see me as an angel so he says
but God and me ain't on speakin terms when it comes to why i am the way i am
i got the shit end of the stick on that one
but, it is what it is
no use in cryin over spilled milk
i don't want to be reminded of my short comings, literally
enough "friends" & foes from my past already jaded me enough about it
trust me, there's plenty of insecurities about it
enough so i don't need anybody else to point it out
or try to pity me
i'm glad i was born, don't get me wrong,
i love my life,
but ya know, i didn't deserve this
i have to say,
i honestly question a God who does this to undeserving people
maybe thats why i'm having a hard time finding my spirituality
in fact,
i know thats why.
but anyways,
enough of that shit.
i can't wait to go home this weekend!!
i miss my Mawmaw & my brothers & sisters

With a holy host of others standing round me
Still Im on the dark side of the moon
And it seems like it goes on like this forever
You must forgive me
If Im up and gone to carolina in my mind
In my mind Im goin to carolina
Cant you see the sunshine
Cant you just feel the moonshine
Maybe just like a friend of mine
It hit me from behind
Yes Im goin to carolina in my mind

Shit Head

last night we cleansed
i feel SO good
inside i am at peace
balanced
today bella cooked me french toast
i relaxed before the big test
played reba out loud
then i went in to take it
i nailed my essay questions
but the multiple questions were bullshit
there were 20 questions at 3 points a piece
i questioned myself on 9 of the questions
not only did the professor re-word both the q's & answers,
he made them so simple that it seemed like a trick question!!
shit head.
the lowest i can possibly get is a 77
thats a C
i knew the material, that was no issue.
the issue is the shit head professor!!
rat bastard!!

Stewie: You know what else is disgusting? (He farts and his right eye turns red.) Oh damn, I broke a blood vessel.

Stewie (picking his nose): Does this not disgust you? Brian: Kid, you're talkin' to a guy who uses his tongue for toilet paper.

Stewie (to Chris, who's calling from the jungle): Do the women there have exposed clitoratae?

Peter: At least they don't put their feminine ointments next to the mustard, Lois. That was the worst hot dog I ever ate.

Peter (while digging a hole for a pool): Kids, promise me you won't go swimming without a lifeguard. It's my duty as a parent to make sure you're safe.....hehehehehe....doody.....hehehehe....diarrhea. Hey, Lois....diarrhea." Lois: Oh Peter, I'm carrying iced tea.

Meg: Dad, if I don't get my driver's license, I'll never have any boyfriends, I'll never get married and I'll have to adopt a kid like Rosie O'Donnell. Peter: Meg ... are you implying that Rosie O'Donnell cant drive?

9/11- We'll Never Forget

Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Out in the yard with your wife and children
Working on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock at the site of
That black smoke rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger
In fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry
Did you weep for the children
Who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below
Did you burst out in pride
For the red white and blue
The heroes who died just doing what they do
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself to what really matters
I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love
Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Teaching a class full of innocent children
Driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone
Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her
Did you dust off that bible at home
Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Speak with some stranger on the street
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Go out and buy you a gun
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watching
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some stranger
Stand in line and give your own blood
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love
I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love
I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love
The greatest is love
The greatest is love
Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day

Bitter Queen

today Bella, Harley & I went to Cola
to Finlay
boy that place is gettin scary
as we walked by this one particular jagged black dude
he tried being nice to Harley,
who promptly barked at him
the guy asked what was wrong with him
(*gasp* theres nothing wrong with my dog, i'm insulted!!)
bella said he doesnt like people
then i swear to you he said
"then i'll kick him in the face" in the MOST queerest voice
i was like WHOAH,
that voice came outta him?!
i told cheryl "boy that isnt a bitter old queen is it?"
i'd be bitter too if i had stuff goin up my butt for years on end.
*sigh*
i just dont know.
we finally found this store i've been looking for for a few years
my ex showed me this toy store
the mystery of "this is it" has been solved
anyways, my supper's ready.
go give somebody a hug and be cool.

Peace

Not thinking about anything is zen. Once you know this, walking, standing, sitting, or lying down, everything you do is zen. To know that the mind is empty is to see the Buddha...Using the mind to look for reality is delusion. Not using the mind to look for reality is awareness. Freeing oneself from words is liberation. -Bodhidharma

Just this is the path--there is no other--to purify vision. Follow it, and that will be Mara's bewilderment. Following it, you put an end to suffering & stress. I have taught you this path for knowing the extraction of arrows. -Dhammapada, 20, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu.

Finding the Purple.

today i had my therapy appointment
we talked of the trip to FLA,
learning to handle the panic,
VR's lack of attention,
the Wal-Mart situations,
and Nana.
the therapist was sane today.
she must be layin off her crack pipe.
then i went to my regular doctor.
everything checked out good.
but OMG!!
when i started going to him last year in like Nov.,
i weighed like 96 lbs.
today i weighed 114.
DUDE!!
WTF?!
i'll definately not lie;
that disturbs me.
i'll have to remedy that problem.
don't wanna start lookin like a fat pinguin.
liz thinks my English professor is a "DUMBASS"...
LoL
how great is that?
tonight we watched John Edwards
i think that was his name
he's the medium on the WE show, Crossing over.
the people on there,
the ones that were validated by their loved ones...
i felt a twinge of jealousy.
but he said something quite interesting on there.
he said to pray for a sign from your loved one.
i think i'll do that.
i could use that right now.
i mean, i know she loved/loves me, no doubt what so ever.
and like i said,
i believe,
i have faith in love.
when i talked to ellis this evening,
i told him i loved him.
i then instructed him to tell Alex that i loved him too bc Alex wasn't home right then...
Ellis just simply says, "Okay Sarah, but he already knows that."
that made my heart GLOW.
tonight Mawmaw told me that i had no idea how much she loves me.
i cannot emphasize how much that meant to me.
it just made today,
which was a hard day for me,
end really well.

bella.

okay so i'm durrin a bit better now
i'm definately looking forward to going home soon
i'm gettin somewhat antsy about my upcoming history exam
i think i'll be okay
*think happy thoughts*
i can see the purple better
i went on a cleaning frenzy today
bella asked what prompted it
i said don't question it
lol
i really am lucky to have her in my life
i trully am Blessed
i honestly dunno what i ever did to deserve her
i must've made the Goddesses happy somewhere along the line
her beauty,
it boggles my mind
she really is perfect
perfectly made for me
i love it
when i crack some REALLY stupid joke
and it tickles her right down to her gut
the way she smiles
and her laugh,
her laugh is the best

i love you, bella.

Happy Birthday

how do you say happy birthday to someone's who's dead?
i mean, they're not a year older.
just a year deader.
how about instead of "happy birthday",
"i remember you"?
its supposed to get easier with each year.
thats what they say anyways.
the weather today fit my reflection perfectly.
overcast.
i watched a dragonfly hover around the door of a kfc today.
thats all he did.
nowhere to go.
but he could fly.
baby suri's no longer a mystery.
now the world can match the face to its pile of shit.
i hate september.
have i mentioned that?
my therapist will have her hands full on friday.
i know i'll be fine.
i'll pull through this bout of depression.
i always do.
i think cheryl was right,
maybe i'm just scared to let her go.
but i can't.
i can't do that.
how do you let go of love?
when you let go, you forget.
i can't forget her.
i made a promise right then and there to always say "i love you"
to the people i loved,
so they'd know.
i've kept that promise,
even if it bit me in the ass,
and i turned out to be a fool.
i've kept that promise especially to four people:
my Grandma first and foremost,
my Bella,
and my boys.
i think that's what Nana is trying to teach me in her death,
to love.
just...
love.
she loved with her all.
she didn't know how to particially love.
and everybody had something good about them,
even if its buried deep within them, its there.
its...its just hard to love somebody who's not physically there.
ya know?
maybe love is supposed to transcend,
transcend life and death.
its funny,
because i've always had my faith in love.
i guess i just need to believe,
believe in my faith,
my faith that does not constitute any one religion.
it just is,
love.
____________________________________
Unwell Lyrics
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me
I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
[Chorus]
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

Somewhere

i must start out by saying this:
Harley's "welfare" has NOT been jeopardized.
It highly insults me that somebody would say so.
Accidents happen.
Every child, at some point in time, has an ACCIDENT.
It didn't mean to happen.
Hence: IT BEING AN ACCIDENT.
Harley has recovered, he is fine, and is in good spirits and good health.
now thats off my chest...
it was good to see Rosie's return
the high school girl i once was,
was happy again
its like holding your breath for a whole minute.
then when you let it all out and breathe it in again,
it feels SOOO good and SOOO relieving.
it felt good to see her back on tv.
i'm still in shock over Steve Irwin's death
man,
a stingray.
how bizzarre is that?!
my instinct fear is kicking in
it sounds stupid
but Irwin's death is the beginning.
First was Diana,
then Nana,
then Mother Theresa.
Always in 3s.
2 celebrities,
and one you know.
i know,
i'm being paranoid.
i hate september
come monday, it'll be alright, buffett says
but don't forget to put up a red or white candle in your window
we gotta find the purple
somewhere in the pain, anger, and hate...
somewhere is my purple

Fire And Rain Lyrics
Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone.
Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you.
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song,
I just can't remember who to send it to.
I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,
but I always thought that I'd see you again.
Won't you look down upon me, Jesus,
You've got to help me make a stand...
Been walking my mind to an easy time,
my back turned towards the sun.
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around.
Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come.
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.
Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain.
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end.
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend,...
Thought I'd see you one more time again.
There's just a few things coming my way this time around, now.
Thought I'd see you, thought I'd see you, fire and rain, now.

Crikey!!

Saturday
our little Harley decided to go on a adventure he couldn't handle
we were riding the four wheeler
taking him to some open land of the family's that he LOVES to run around on
we were slowing down
almost to a complete stop
and BAM!!
he bolted out from my grip and onto the ground
he landed on his head & rolled
the tire of the four wheeler missed crushing him by like a millimeter
I was in shock
he NEVER does that
Shurl jumped off to pick him up
nothing was broken
though he just looked kinda shocked
she set him down to see if he could walk
he took off running like he usually does
he was fine
Shurl & i were the ones worried & sick to our tummies
when we got him home,
we inspected him even closer
he had a little bump on his head no bigger than a corn kernel
and a bit of rash on his chest
but he was eatin, drinking, walkin, and acting normal
that skeered the patooties outta us!!
the pics are from the day, and day after he got hurt.
he's fine now,
its as if it never happened.
but ya know who's NOT fine?
steve irwin, the crocodile hunter.
he be dead.
stingray right through his chest
and put a hole through his heart.
that's sad.

Pregnancy

Pregnancy among women with congenitally corrected transposition of great arteries.
Connolly HM, Grogan M, Warnes CA.
Division of Cardiovascular Diseases and Internal Medicine, Mayo Clinic and Mayo Foundation, Rochester, Minnesota 55905, USA.
OBJECTIVES: The outcome of pregnancy in congenitally corrected transposition of the great vessels was studied in 22 women. BACKGROUND: Women with congenitally corrected transposition of the great vessels often reach childbearing age. Although reports on the outcome of pregnancy in these women are available, the number of patients is small. METHODS: The medical and surgical databases at the Mayo Clinic were reviewed, and 36 women >16 years old with congenitally corrected transposition of the great vessels were identified. All of them were contacted, and 22 who had pregnancies were identified and the outcome of pregnancy was evaluated. RESULTS: Twenty-two women had 60 pregnancies resulting in 50 live births (83%). Forty-four deliveries (88%) were vaginal and 6 (12%) were by cesarean section. One delivery was premature at 29 weeks. There was one successful twin pregnancy. There were 11 unsuccessful pregnancies. One patient developed congestive heart failure late in pregnancy because of systemic atrioventricular valve regurgitation and required valve replacement in the early postpartum period. One patient had a total of 12 pregnancies, including 1 twin pregnancy and 2 unsuccessful pregnancies. She had multiple pregnancy-related complications, including toxemia, congestive heart failure, endocarditis and myocardial infarction (single coronary artery). No other serious pregnancy-related maternal complications and no pregnancy-related deaths occurred. The mean birth weight of the infants (n = 32) was 3.2 +/- 0.4 kg. None of the 50 live offspring have been diagnosed with congenital heart disease. CONCLUSIONS: Successful pregnancy can be achieved in most women with congenitally corrected transposition of the great arteries. The rate of fetal loss and maternal cardiovascular morbidity is increased. Because of the small number of births, the risk of congenital heart disease in offspring of women with congenitally corrected transposition of the great arteries is uncertain.

HOOK

Music & Lyrics: John Popper

It doesn't matter what I say
So long as I sing with inflection
That makes you feel that I'll convey
Some inner truth of vast reflection
But I've said nothing so far
And I can keep it up for as long as it takes
And it don't matter who you are
If I'm doing my job then it's your resolve that breaks
Because the hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The hook brings you back
On that you can rely
There is something amiss
I am being insincere
In fact I don't mean any of this
Still my confession draws you near
To confuse the issue I refer
To familiar heroes from long ago
No matter how much Peter loved her
What made the Pan refuse to grow
Was that the hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The hook brings you back
On that you can rely
Suck it in suck it in suck it in
If you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else you'll win
And then begin
To see
What you're doing to me this MTV is not for free
It's so PC it's killing me
So desperately I sing to thee
Of love
Sure but also rage and hate and pain and fear of self
And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf
I've tried well no in fact I lied
Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside
To hide or slide
I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died
And only then shall I abide this tide
Of catchy little tunes
Of hip three minute ditties
I wanna bust all your balloons
I wanna burn all of your cities
To the ground I've found
I will not mess around
Unless I play then hey
I will go on all day hear what I say
I have a prayer to pray
That's really all this was
And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck
I don't rely on luck because...
The hook brings you back
I ain't tellin' you no lie
The hook...
On that you can rely