Happy BDay 2 U, U Look Like A Monkey, Smell Like An Ass!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARLEY!!
i don't remember exactly the DAY he was born,
but it was at the end of june.
my baby's growin up!!
we are such proud momma's!!
we bought him a brand spankin new squeaky toy
(plus his favorite nutro food)
and i boiled some poke-chops & rice for him
no seasonings, ofcourse
he'll love it
bc he hardly ever gets human food
besides fruit
aww my baby
we got up at 8:30 this am
went grocery shoppin,
ran our errands,
grabbed some take out chink food
and were home by 12
we stopped at sonic so i could get a dr pepper
yall know my blood's made of soda
tomorrow at finlay,
Caribbean Cowboys at 7
its jimmy buffett style music
i can't wait!!
peace, love, 'n chicken farts

VERY sensuous, eh? 

A little Picasso, anyone? 

Licky Licky 

Memorable DUKES Quotes

Uncle Jesse: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
Luke Duke: What?
Uncle Jesse: A piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye.

Luke Duke: You thinkin' about throwin' that?
Uncle Jesse: Oh, I'm gonna throw it... I was thinkin' about pussy.

Cop: What seems to be the problem, sugar?
Daisy Duke: I think something bounced up into my undercarriage.

Nightmares & Foolish Pussies

so yesterday evening,
i walked up on sumin i SOOOO did NOT EVER want or need to see...
EVER in my LIFETIME!!
yukk!!
after that,
ironically,
i got a severe sinus headache.
it started around 5:30-ish and went into well beyond midnight.
i wouldn't wish that on anybody,
not even my DNA donor.
anyways,
after FINALLY falling asleep,
i had this WEIRD ass dream...
for some reason or another, cheryl & i were in ATL...
we were in a 5 star hotel....
i was down in the lobby walking back UPSTAIRS
bc cheryl had to leave for work (in charleston),...
as i was fixin to go back to the room,
a black dude walks in,
and starts shooting up the place...
i huddled for shelter in a hallway,....
he walks past me,
but catches a glimpse of me,
walks back,
& proceeds to shoot me in the head,
but i jerked away so fast that the bullet just penetrated the skin on my forehead,
not my skull.
so cheryl had to rush back,
i had to go into surgery,
bc there were fragments still lodged in me...
then, i dunno WTF this came from,
but the big Oprah decided to pay for my surgery, ...
then i settled out of court with the hotel...
THEN...
i woke up.
man,...what the HELL is going on?
oh well...
ohhh yes, before i forget,
star jones announced her leaving the view on tuesday...
she's a fake pussy for not having the guts to face rosie.
damn foolishness, isn't it?
shit stinks, no matter which side of the fence.
i'mma meditate on this to see what conclusion i arrive at...
peace, love, 'n chicken farts


As you go along your road in life, you will, if you aim high enough, also meet resistance.... But no matter how tough the opposition may seem, have courage still and persevere. -Madeleine Albright

A jug fills drop by drop. -Buddha

When your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme. -Jiminy Cricket

You can dream, create, design and build the most wonderful place in the world, but it requires people to make the dream a reality. -Walt Disney

There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not. -Robert F. Kennedy

Only do what your heart tells you. -Princess Diana

Nature makes only dumb animals. We owe the fools to society. -Honore De Balzac

When he said we were trying to make a fool of him, I could only murmur that the Creator had beat us to it. -Ilka Chase

Dreaming of an Old Fart...PeeeUuuuu!!

so i had a very wierd dream last night
i dream there was a t-storm with lightning
don't remember if there was rain or not
i wasn't scared of it and it presented no threat to me
then later on in the dream
after i adopted a doxie & some other kinda dog from the pound
i saw Tink in the sky
it was a cloud that was MADE of Tinks
WTF
i don't damnit know
oh well
omg
yesterday evening
harley & i sat on the front porch during the shower
and watched the humming birds
the dog was watching them
isn't that some shit?
have i really gotten this old
that i enjoy to watch birds...
my body may age, but
i'll never grow up

Truths

Your lordship, though not clean past your youth, have yet some smack of age in you, some relish of the saltiness of time. ~William Shakespeare

Believe...and the magic will follow. ~Author Unknown

Meditation brings wisdom; lack of mediation leaves ignorance. Know well what leads you forward and what holds you back, and choose the path that leads to wisdom. ~Buddha

Beauty is variable; ugliness is constant. ~Doug Horton

It's a sort of bloom on a woman. If you have it you don't need to have anything else; and if you don't have it, it doesn't much matter what else you have. ~James M. Barrie

Never bend your head. Hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye. ~Helen Keller

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. ~Helen Keller

If you hold yourself dear, protect yourself well. ~Buddha

You will recognize your own path when you come upon it, because you will suddenly have all the energy and imagination you will ever need. ~Jerry Gillies

Values- Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. ~Buddha

Thankfulness- Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful. ~Buddha

I became a lesbian because of women, because women are beautiful, strong, and compassionate.~ Rita Mae Brown

Every woman I have ever loved has left her print upon me, where I loved some invaluable piece of myself apart from me--so different that I had to stretch and grow in order to recognize her. And in that growing, we came to separation, that place where work begins.~ Audre Lorde

Dumbass Bitches & PRETTY Purple!!

tuesday night bookclub on abc...
WTF?!
its a duplicate of BRAVO'S orange county house wives.
one after another,
they're all the same.
it must suck, suburbia,
bein the same,
and never thinking for yourself,
are there really pathetic house wives like that?
it only goes to prove my theory;
dumbasses are a highly contagious virus
that multiplies 100 billion times per day.

then on we is bridezilla's...
do the women think this show enhances their image?
i can't help but to think that
a) i feel sorry for the husbands to be and that
b) the husbands to be are stupid.
perhaps they think the show is "their shot at fame"?

what about TLC's 10 Years Younger?
it's just damn demeaning.

it seems to me,
that in our history,
women sacrificed their lives to empower other women.
and today,
ungrateful dumbasses are rushing headfirst
to degrade what women have worked so hard for.

its truly about respect and karma.
it really is.
i see it all around me.
its like i'm watching a movie
and all of the people in my life,
past or present,
are the characters.
i see the disrespect and karma
that has caught up with them.
now,
Lord knows,
my shit caught me,
but nirvana and self respect can turn anybody around.
nobody's perfect.
but everybody's perfect for somebody.

it is so neat,
if you stop and observe.
watching lives around you,
how the characters condone themselves,...
i am so unbelievably thankful for everyday i have
and for the wonderful people i cherish.
i am so Blessed.

i have an awesome and hilariously coo-coo grandma,
adorable brothers,
a cool lil sister,
another baffling strong sister,
an amazing partner,
a cute little doggie,
loyal childhood friends,
a sweet country cottage...
it doesn't get better than that!!

Expectations Are Bitchzillas

Joan Didion: To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves--there lies the great, singular power of self-respect.

Michael Jordan: If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.

i DiD iT!!

i DiD iT!!
i OFFiCiALLY APPLiED FOR SCHOOL!!
ALL MY FiNANCiAL AiDE iS TURNED iN!!
*WooT*

Fuck You!! 

Stand Back Up - Sugarland

Go ahead and take your best shot,
Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,
I'm laid out on the floor, but I've been here before,
I may stumble, yeah I might fall,
Only human aren't we all?
I might lose my way, but hear me when I say,

I will stand back up,
You'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid, and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up,

I've been beaten up and bruised,
I've been kicked right off my shoes,
Been down on my knees more times than you'd believe,
When the darkness tries to get me,
There's a light that just won't let me,
It might take my pride, and my tears may fill my eyes,
But I'll stand back up,

I've weathered all these storms,
But I just turn them into wind, so I can fly,
What don't kill you makes you stronger,
When I take my last breath,
That's when I'll just give up,

So, go ahead and take your best shot,
Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,
You might win this round but you can't keep me down,

'Cause I'll stand back up,
And you'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up,

You'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up.

Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself

today i went to school
well...
a trembling lower lip convinced Bella to accompany me
we got my application
and transcript request form
i've officially got the ball rolling
tomorrow my app will be turned in
transcript request given to WFHS
and then comes the wait
3 business days i must wait to complete the online FAFSA
logically
i know its a small accomplishment
first step of my new journey completed
Bella may be on to something when she said
"the first step is the hardest"
i told Mawmaw
and got a rather heart warming fuzzy lavishing speech
about how much she loves me,
how proud of me she is,
adversity,
strength
hot damn!!
i'm still the favorite grandchild

ya know what?
life is good.
life is hard.
life is chocked slam full of adversities.
life is not so full of the slivers of sunshine that hurdle past the black clouds.

everybody has their medical sap story
...crude to say, but a fact of life
strength and courage can be found around every corner
stories of great, immensely interesting humanity are endlessly numerous
gives the listener that warm fuzzy feeling
and that warm, fuzzy feeling reminds the sarcastic & pessimistic
of mold slowly creeping over a forgotten block of cheese

but the hope braided within the stories
transform meagerly desperate souls to stout Herculeans full of faith

i undoubtedly know i'm a medical miracle baby
though not fooling myself
my inner Yoda says
"much i have overcome, but more i have to conquer"

I LIKE IT – Dixie Chicks

“A sea couldn't wash away
The happiness I've come to find since love
Has taught me how to break
Break these chains that hold me back
Noisy streets and the sleepy bars
And the neon signs and the rusty cars
How many nights have I wondered how
One goes through life without seeing the beauty of love
Whooa, the beauty of love
Whooa”


I’M GONNA TAKE THAT MOUNTAIN – Reba

“It’s overwhelming looking up
I know when it’s the challenge of
Me against this heartache to survive
I may slip and I may fall
But even if I have to crawl
I’ll break through to the healing side
I’m gonna take that mountain
Ain’t nothing gonna slow me down
And there ain’t no way around it
Gonna leave it level with the ground
Ain’t just gonna cross it, climb it, fight it
I’m gonna take that mountain”

Fantabulous Weekend!!

man this weekend was fantabulous!!
saturday,
cheryl & i went swimming at her aunt's pool.
we had a typical summer time lunch,
sandwiches and chips & coca-cola.
then back to swimming!!
bbq sandwiches for supper,
a four wheeler ride with Harley on our family land.
sunday,
delish! lunch,
then off to swimming again.
this time,
at my sister in law's pool.
cheryl's mom is doggie sitting
the dapple doxie pup.
milkyway is SO FRIKKIN adorable!!
aye!!
i can't wait to finally get my pup.
i got a decent tan
with a bit of sunburn,
LoL,
nuffin i can't handle.
although the sunburn took its toll on me.
harley has this new thing he does now...
whenever he feels the urge,
he grunts rather loudly.
its quite obnoxious.
Mawmaw told me the SWEETEST thing ever!!
she said something on the order of
it means SO much to her
when i tell her i love her.
and i tell her that EVERYTIME i talk to her.
i make it a very valid point to do so.
even with Bella.

Blanche: I have writer's block. It's the worst feeling in the world.
Sophia: Try ten days without a bowel movement sometime.

Gettin The Ball Rollin

Bella has a migraine today
Poor Baby
I remember that pain
Oiy
Tomorrow'll be a busy day
I scheduled an appointment tomorrow with my Doc
Gonna open the discussion of prosthetics
See what he says
Then to Tech for all that shit
THEN doggies gtg see the Vet
Nails are starting to cut my liver in two
Wonder what I will find to cook for supper
Bella thawed out chicken
Hmmm
Its time to get my ball rollin
I've got my family to take care of

"There's a moment
We all come to
In our own time and
Our own space
Where all that we've done
We can undo
If our heart's
In the right place

On a prayer, in a song
I hear your voice and
It keeps me hanging on
Raining down
Against the wind
I'm reaching out till
We reach the circle's end
When you come
Back to me again

And again I see
My yesterday's in front of me
Unfolding like a mystery
You're changing all that is
And used to be"

Home Sweet Home

friday night
cheryl,
her mom,
and i
head to rett's baseball game.
upon arrival,
a major panick attacks rears its heinous head.
too many kids were present,
too unnerving for my comfort zone.
the stares and whispers
making me jaded and raw.
i don't feel sorry for myself,
i never have or ever will.
but the longing for normalcy
has come to a head.
i begin to breakdown,
maybe its time to look into prosthetics.
maybe then i can enjoy being outgoing,
to enjoy walmart,
a baseball game,
or the beach.
cheryl and i head to my hometown,
my safe place to fall.
nice,
very plush.
besides,
harley was one happy lil dog.
my mom showed her old self.
i wonder why she is so cold?
what happened to her
that made her so empty and unconnected?
i didn't have the nerve to talk to mawmaw.
i didn't want to upset her.
but her proximity to me
was healing enough to me in its own way.
cheryl and i ate supper with my mom
and her gang.
afterwards cheryl went to the skyview car show,
and i visited friends.
we spent the night with my mom.
cheryl,
margaret,
alex,
and i tried to watch the movie RENT.
it sucked.
we awoke saturday morning
and headed to hartsville.
cheryl & i
went to see tray,
my buddy.
i was very happy to see him again.
he was nice to cheryl,
alas;
the asshole has gone.
we came back to my momma's
spent more time with my boys.
they were getting packed for camp this week.
i hope they have fun.
we headed to my mawmaw's
to visit more.
mawmaw took a nap,
cheryl tried to take a nap.
i cooked a jam up supper
for the three of us
and cheryl and i
went ahead and came back home.
on the ride back,
it was so magical,...
fireflies lit up both sides of the road.
it reminded me of a land
back in time
where fairies roamed free.
we also had to be on the lookout for deer,
there were quite a few.
we got home and nestled in just fine.
Bella,
Tray,
and another
told me what they thought about my breakdown.
i agree;
it must come from within.
but i can't help but to still ponder the thought of prosthetics.
mmmm...
i sniff a hard therapy session...
and a raunchy fart.

The Surprise! Dyke

LMFAO!!

Cheryl scored as The Surprise! Dyke. (Aww!! I LOVE MY BELLA!!)

Despite the dead giveaways, such as the tattoos and love of the L Word, people still seem to think that you're straight.


The Surprise! Dyke- 80%
The Bohemian Dyke -60%
The Granola Dyke -50%
The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke -40%
The Stud -40%
The Student Dyke -40%
The Femme Fatale -35%
The Sprightly Elfin Femme -30%
The Magic Earring Ken Dyke -15%
The Pretty-Boi Dyke -10%
The Little-Boy Dyke -10%
The Quasi-Gothic Femme -10%
The Hipster Dyke -0%

The Sprightly Elfin Femme Dyke

An online friend of mine sent me this Dyke Quiz. LMFAO!! I find this oddly ironic, seeing as to how my old nickname was Tink. Hmm...Me thinks nothing is coincidental. What is the lesson learned from this? Let me go concencRate on the porcelain God,...

http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=35776

My Results:

Result of Quiz :: What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)
You scored as The Sprightly Elfin Femme.

Cute and irresistible, you inspire and foster the little kid in everyone. Also, you make the best cookies and cutest knit hats.

The Sprightly Elfin Femme- 65%
The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke- 60%
The Magic Earring Ken Dyke- 45%
The Surprise! Dyke- 45%
The Granola Dyke- 40%
The Femme Fatale- 40%
The Stud- 35%
The Student Dyke- 35%
The Bohemian Dyke- 35%
The Little-Boy Dyke- 25%
The Pretty-Boi Dyke- 25%
The Quasi-Gothic Femme- 20%
The Hipster Dyke- 5%

Different winds come from all directions. Some are clear, some carry dust, some are cold or hot, fierce gales or gentle breezes. In the same way sensations arise in the body--pleasant or unpleasant or neutral. When a meditator sees sensations as he does the winds, coming and going, clear or dust laden, fierce or gentle, he will fully understand them and be free from dependence on them. When he understands sensations perfectly, he will see beyond this conditioned world.
-Samyutta Nikayap 

...Finding Us

cheryl and i have been takin it easy
we started goin on our walks on the family land
harley LOVES it
we unleash him
and he runs and roams
and marks his territory
LoL
he never strays too far from us
on the last walk
curiosity got me
i wondered if he would like the wild blackberries
the lil bastard did!!
he ate 'em right up
like they were dog treats
we didn't give him too many
for fear of constipation or the runs
so being the epitome of a good dog owner that i am
i did some research on dogs eating fruit
its perfectly fine and healthy
watch the proportions
no grapes or raisins
dehydrated fruits are high in sugar (so be careful)
and they must eat fruit either
30 minutes prior to their normal food
OR
2 hours post their normal food
their bodies digest fruits differently than everything else
so mixing up the foods can mess them up
*thinks of reading rainbow*
"but you don't have to take my word for it..."
ANYWAYS
Bella got home last night
to a dark house
with only two candles lit
supper hot & prepared
and our relaxation buddism CD playing softly
after supper i swapped the laundry,
she cleaned off the dishes,
i locked the doors,
we took a shower,
and were in bed by 9:30!!
can you believe it?!
9 frikkin thirty!!
ain't it GREAT!!
I LOVE MY LIFE WITH MY BELLA!!
it is truly SO awesome!!!!
i am SO BLESSED
i never in a million years ever believed
that true love was in store for me
i love myself (finally),
my Bella,
my dog,
our home,
our families,
our friends,
...our life.
somebody up there must really love me, as reba sings.
...i love yall too, nana, papa, and aunt carolyn. xoxoxoxo

People, THIS is a "Toad Abode." I shit yall not. I was edumuhkated about it on Animal Planet's show, Backyard Habitat. A sauser filled with water set on the ground, next to an upside down planter that is propped up on its side.

Keepin it simple!! 

One half has stars and the moon; the other blue skies and the sun. :-D 

We like to paint our planters so they won't be so boring lookin. Looks super cute, me thinks. 

My snot nosed mutt LOVES doing this on our front porch. *Awww* 

Ain't these purdy? I thought so. This plant is as tall as it looks.  

This is our walkway to our front door. Truthfully, I only know the name of the Yellow flowers, they are called Snap Dragons. The Orange ones are hardy and the pink ones were bitches. Notice the little black lamp...My Bella wanted Solar Lights, so I got 'em just for her. 

This are a couple of flowers off the Lantena Bush. I've always called it a Flutterby Bush, though. It's gotten HUGE!! 

Its called Dragon's Blood. Cool name, eh? Notice the painted pot. Purdy purdy purdy!! 

Pwetty Pwetty Flowers...*WooT* 

Have A Nice Day!!

yesterday we were two BUSY lil lezbans!!
cheryl awoke around 8:30,
me around 9:20,
to complete our errands early in the day.
walmart was completed by 10:46...
i'm very proud of that.
i'm MORE proud of how much we bought,
versus how much we spent.
gotta watch those pennies!!
on to reid's from there.
bank,
doc's office,
sce&g,
fred's,
and finally...
the dolla' sto'.
we wuz home by 1.
kick ass, huh?
today Bella is workin,
so i'll prolly do a little painting,
clean house,
watch TV,
have a staring contest with my dog,
play with him & get him all riled for abso-fukkin-lutely for no reason,
then get suppah prepared,
and alas,
wait for my BEAUTIFUL wife to come home.
*WooT*
ain't that the life?
can't wait to go back to skool...
*WooT*
debating on what puppy to save for
easier pup to attain, the doxie?
or save & save & save for muh Yorkie?
hmmm...
the universe will show me the answer, no doubt.

"There's just somethin', you know the type:
A southern *GiRL* sweet as a Jasmine on a hot summer night.
Oh, those kisses that linger a long, long time:
Long after they're gone, they stay on my mind.
Someone my *Nana* woulda liked.
Ooh, as gentle as a warm breeze whisperin' through the pines:
That's the Carolina kind.
The Carolina kind."

A Collage of Our Folly Trip

Folly is still as beautiful as I remember.
The day didn't start out so swift.
Bad moods were plentiful.
Good food and sunshine even more so.
At the Anchor Line, we sat at a booth by the window to the creek.
To our great surprise,
A Raccoon was fishing in the creek.
Pretty frikkin cool.
Lost Dog was great.
We got some fresh seafood to take home;
Stone Crab Claws and Snow Crab Legs galore.
I chickened out on the Crawdads.
Mason almost fell asleep at the wheel...
I literally bout pissed my pants.
(Held it in by the grace of Buddha, though.)
I of course got burned by the sun.
I have this wonderful way of ignoring Cheryl
When she says I oughtta put on the sunscreen.
Dimensions colliding,
Paranormal is on the rise.
Appearing and disappearing medicine,
Flying remote controls...
Sage will cleanse.
Acknowledgements made,
Lines drawn.
Scary stuff.
*Deep Breath*
Accept it and let it go.
The purple is still breath taking, isn't it?