the monster she has become
is derived from a story from her own imagination
the girl i met
buried in the stone garden
the girl that is
a therapist's goldmine
metal face he called her
black hair
black nails
black lipstick
tis sad
it really is
i didn't let her break me
for that i am proud
i took responsibility for my actions and words
a leopard cannot change it's spots
she said
a Dalmatian is born with no spots
they only come at maturity
thats what i think
another lie in the web of deceit
perhaps her screen name suits her best
black widow
she's a deadly virus contagious to all
who seek out her web
an emotional vampress
with multiple personalities
i was strong in the midst of her wrath
no tears or blood shed on my behalf
not even any regrets
how i wish
i could've been a fly
in the back of that ambulance
i live in Charleston
with my wife-to-be
yet she asks him if he's my boyfriend
proof therein that she has no useful brain function left
good ol' predictable 120
pulls his asshole routine
heh
that routine is something
that'll withstand the test of time
he says we are close friends
then gets under her skin
by saying tho
i am gay
he is still my man
LoL
ha!
i can't wait to see him at LRRS haunted house
it has been way too long indeed
he has been a good friend
i can count on
that friendship means a lot to me
i am glad i am away from her
and that god forsaken town
and it's rumors
it only makes me
all the more
grateful and appreciative of cheryl
* sigh *
damn, i love my bella.
Friday, September 30, 2005
The Tale of the Asshole & the Black Widow
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Purple
so today is our 6 month anniversary
woohoo
i am so Blessed and so fortunate
to have somebody like Cheryl by my side
she says i give her too much credit
i think not
an astounding beauty is she
she's my healing color
purple
i breathe in her scent
and with each passing hour
each wound on my heart is healed
each tear ever shed
wiped away by her love
her understanding,
compassion,
sincerity,
devotion,
and love
never faultering
always steady
every mistake from my past
makes our relationship
that much stronger
in my journey
to reclaim myself
there is no one blocking my path
no one to catch me if i fall
just someone by my side
with her hand gently on my back
for assurance
the freedom tastes so sweet
the purple,
no longer scary,
but a warm safe haven
that makes my soul come alive
with every kiss
Bella,
the past 6 months have been wonderful.
you have enhanced my life to a point
to where i am at a loss for words. i eagerly
look forward to spendingg the rest of my life
with you. we are so Blessed to have such a
strong, healthy, commited relationship. you
are everything i have ever dreamt of. thank
you for loving me and standing by my side.
"you are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."
i love you, mon femme bella.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Aliens, Fuzzy Ralph, & Blessings
well i went home again
spent a delightful evening with my family
margaret, mom, ellis, wisabus, cheryl, & i
all laughed and had a ball over supper
truly the best time spent with them in years
alex and steve were on the way home from hunting
cheryl and i both got sick
fun fun
stayed at ash's motel
the motel security staff
formidable intimidators
poor ralph the turtle
now all fuzzy
suppose i shoulda listened to my mom
and put him in alkiehawl
so tomorrow
cheryl and i will make the journey to her parents' house
for ralph's funeral
making awesome progress in therapy
confronting the reasons for my anger
its hard to do that
i can write words to melt my lovers heart
yet i cannot verbalize
the hurt caused by my sperm donor
my lil texan is okay
she was fortunate to not get hit by rita
what a relief that is
when we were in flotown
i treated myself to a hair cut and color
my auburn hair now has blonde highlights
my family doesn't like it
but i do
as well as my sweetheart
cheryl and i met wisabus
at redbone for lunch
that was the first time
we were disapointed by their food
on the new tv show called threshold
aliens have invaded earth
they invaded camden military academy
now
ISN'T THAT IRONIC
i coulda told yall a helluva long time ago
aliens invaded that friggin school years ago
and his name...
billy doar
cheryl is on her mission
to find a new job
cross your fingers
while in florence
i put yellow daisies on my nana's grave
i am finally at peace with that situation
i still have my angel alive in my heart
life is hard
but when you sit down
to look at what's really important
family, friends, your loved ones, and your health
life is good
we need to observe
the catastrophic chaos and enormous craziness
in today's god forsaken world
and count our Blessings
to be thankful for what we do have
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
A Dead Turtle, A Babboon's Ass, & Sickness
its been a while since my last post
internet withdrawals sukk
hope to get our pc back this week
a lot has happened
cheryl had an er trip
migraine & very high blood sugar
then my mama linda went in the hospital
like a TRUE daughter,
i rushed to florence to see her
to make sure she'd be okay
i'd wanted to return back to florence
for her return home from the hospital
but i got sick
damnit
i wanted to clean the house and cook her supper
so she wouldn't have to strain herself
she knows i did everything i possibly could to help her
cheryl & i went to folly
and came upon a dead corretta (loggerhead turtle) hatchling
it was so awesome and sad
sad it didn't make it
awesome to find
we have it preserved in a jar
therapy gets harder
as the seconds tick by
they put me on zoloft
we'll see how it works
they also want to test me for anemia
blah blah blah
i hear them drone on
katrina...
what can i say that's not been said
our land of the free
now the land of anarchy
as its prisoners beg the government for help
their pleas fall on deaf ears
heil hitler?
no
heil bush?
hell no.
he's nothing but a babboon's ass
trying to become a tyrant
in our hour of crisis
posing for a picture
holding a katrina effected baby
is supposed to automatically
cleanse his hands of the blood
from our soldiers who are
playing the child's game of marco polo with bin laden?
i fukking think not.
bastard.
i said it before
and i'll say it again
karma...
both a Blessing and a Bitch
