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Monday, July 24, 2006

Jerry!!

LoL, this is some damn shit, yall!!
Take a look at the Jerry Springer Love Line site
http://www.monkeyspit.net/sites/loveline/


Jerry Springer Lyrics (Weird Al Yankovic)

been, one week since we got to see,
Cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
5 days since they had the show with the hermaphrodite
the slut, and the crackhoe
3 days since we heard the tale about the guy who learned
his woman was a she-male.
Yesterday, it occured to me, that I'd been watching a bit too
much Jerry Springer
Holy cow, didya see it last week?
Well they had this one freak,
Who suckered punched his whole family
Do you recall when the brawl became a total 'free-for-all'
and jerry's in the middle trying to be the referee?
Hey, see the stripper with the implants?
She likes to lap-dance, and date the boyfriend of her mother
Now here comes Jerry's next guest, and it's a slug fest cuz
it's her trailer trash brother
Nymphomaniac is back on crack it's like when animals attack
they all exhibit reprehensible behaviour
hit em in the nose tear off their clothes step on their toes
thats how it goes
they get so violent they have to sign a waiver.
They're always swearin' cursin' kickin' butt and pointin'
blame
on the air they dont care they got no shame.
There was one guy I'm sure he felt a little strange, when he
found
out that his wife had a sex change
They have a tendency to scream and yell constantly,
They have a history of ripping off their shirts...
It's been one week since they had the fight,
with the Siamese twins and the transvestite
5 days since that awful brawl,
They still haven't got the blood off the wall, it's been
3 days since the bitter feud between the KKK and the gay
Jewish
black dude
Yesterday, it finally dawned on me, that I'd been watching
a bit too much Jerry Springer
[Spoken]
Baby, I've been sleeping with your sister.
Ugh! Which one?
All of 'em!
Well I've been sleeping with you're best friend, Jay!
Yeah? Well, well...
Me too and I've been sleeping with your dog, Woofie
Woofie, you bitch! Well I'm also sleepin' with your pet goat!
That goat doesn't love you!
Once you start watching, there's just no stopping
Your brain shuts down, and your IQ's dropping.
Jerry's the king of confrontation, he's a sensation,
he puts the sin in sindication
He's totally worthless like a bad check, he's like a trainwreck,
Don't want to stare, but you can't look away.
Like Sally Jesse, he does talk shows, but with more weirdos,
The rating's jumping higher every day
If you've seen the show, then you know it's about as low as you can go,
The guests are tacky, and they're lacking in their hygiene
Then pretty soon, some ugly goon comes in the room,
and then it's boom in the face of some unsuspecting drag queen
Well it's the kind of show where people scream obscenities,
yanking hair, throwing chairs at their hubbies.
Jerry, Jerry, now the crowd starts their favourite chant
Should I turn off my TV?
I just can't
I have a tendency to watch it religiously, I have a history of taping each one
It's been one week since the show about,
Psycho killers with problems they should work out
5 days since the big surprise, when some loser's wife said that shes still datin' 20 guys,
3 days since the interview, a bunch of psychic pornstar midgets who were all nude,
Yesterday it occured to me, that I've been watching a bit too much jerry Springer
Tired of wasting my time on that Jerry Springer,
I've got way too much class to watch Jerry Springer
Come over here and pull on my finger