quite possibly the cutest thing ever.

time.

okay, so....
old friends.
reconnecting can be a good thing,
right?
then why am i feeling like that little girl i was back in 4th grade?
i mean,
some i am eager to see.
some,
not so much.
old feelings emerge.
old recollections.
old pains.
old smiles.
i am a different woman than i was.
definately not the girl i was.
a myriad of feelings overwhelm me.
without them,
i wouldn't be part of who i am today.
hard lessons learned,
hours of crying,
loads of great times,...
sweet moments,
and moments of harsh reality
when one knows that they must conquer the peter pan syndrome.
time rolls on,
like the tide.
never ceasing.
somewhere i heard the saying that time heals everything...
no the hell it don't,
to put it rather ghetto-ly.
our pasts are like bits of scars splattered on our souls.
some will always be raw and festering.
some,
a battle scar that's only purpose is to serve as a memory.
and the inevitable few that will heal up,
only to be sporadically picked at by karma,
so that it's sting will remind us of the pain.
no,
time does not heal everything.
it is,
however,
kinda like the bloodclots that help form the scabs.
so i say,
that even though i will be a grown woman walking into that reunion,
on the inside,
i'll still feel like a little girl with skinned knees.
but that's okay.
it's those skinned knees that give me my strength and bring a smile about.
its those skinned knees that will give comfort to me.
so,
to whomever said that time heals all...
i say,
fuck you, motherfucker,
fuck you.
(strangely,
even though i have NO idea who i said that to,
it feels damn good and quite empowering.)
peace out.



There are ladies in my life,
lovely ladies in these lazy days.
And though I never took a wife,
may I say that I have loved me one or two.
Of the people in my past,
fading faces in a waking dream,
and though they never seemed to last very long,
there are faces I remember from the places in my past.

I said all the dead head miles and the insincere smiles.
Sometimes I can laugh and cry and I can't remember why.
But I still love those good times gone by,
hold on to them close or let them go, oh no.
I don't know,
I just seem to sing these songs
and say I'm sorry for the friends I used to know.



Well I'm a tidal pool explorer
From the days of my misspent youth.
I believe that down on the beach
Where the sea gulls preach
Is where the Chinese buried the truth.
So I dig in the sand
with my misguided hands
and if I dig deep enough
Hell I just might dig it up.
Talking about treasure
Talking about pleasure
Talking about love
Now I'm a reader of the night sky
And a singer of inordinate tunes.
That's how I float across time
Living way past my prime
Like a long lost baby's balloon.
So I hang on to the string
Work that whole gravity thing
But when my space ship goes pop
Back to the earth I will drop
Into the sea
Or the limbs of a tree
Or the wings of my love
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Maybe invent me a story or two
I've got coastal confessions to make
How bout you
How bout you
They say that time is like a river
And stories are the key to the past
But now I'm stuck in between
Here at my typing machine
Trying to come up with some words that will last.
It's so easy to see that we live history
And if I just find the beat
I know I land on my feet
I always do
Hadn't got a clue
Does it comes from above.
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Maybe invent me a story or two
I've got coastal confessions to make
How bout you
How bout you
Let's go to church, Sonny...
[Bridge]
So bless me father, yes I have sinned.
Given the chance I'll probably do it again
I don't need absolution
Just a simple solution will do.
So let's talk about the future
Or the consequences of my past
I've got scars, I've got lines
I'm not hard to define
Just an altar boy coverin' his ass.
I know I can't run and hide
But just hang on for the ride
There will be laughter and tears
As we progress through the years
But still it's fun
Hey I'm not done
Gonna dance 'til I fall
And I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Maybe have me a boat drink or two
It's just the coastal confessions I hear
Tell the truth
Tell the truth
I've got some coastal confessions to make
How 'bout you,
how 'bout you,
how 'bout you,
how 'bout you
And you, and you, and you
42 years since my last confession
Well father, do you have the rest of the week?
Let's get started
I had impure thoughts
I smoked some pot
Stole some peanut butter
Father, wake up.

hallelujah!!

tammy-lynn micheal's blog (aka mrs melissa etheridge) entry kicks TOTAL FUCKING ASS!!



"what do you get when you cross elmer fudd with bush? WMD
so if i blog
about what an idiotic, parasitical, country-raping piece of shit george w. bush is,
i could go to jail?

george bush
you are a criminal
you are raping our country of our intentions

i do wonder if his mom and dad go to bed at night
proud of little whiskey-cokey-georgie poo for his dictatorship?
how does laura lay her head down at night
pulled eyes and all
and dream sweetly of lambies and cashmere sweaters?
when she fucks him does she call him adolf or castro?

rove
you sweaty little piggish oompa loompa elmer fudd ass
karma is a bitch
and i don't think you'll ever get that wascaly wabbit
while torturing the fellas at abu gharib

this war
is war for profit

something i am sure
the bible does not favor

weapons of mass destruction:
the current american government.

now come arrest me
you f*ckers."

still a grandmama's girl.

"do you want your kiss now," she asks.
"yes ma'am," i say.
and then i hear the MMMMUUUUUAAAAAAHHHH sound.
and i proceed to return her kiss.

i am 25 years old,
and still get that warm, safe feeling
from getting a kiss from my grandma g'night.
maybe there are some ways i'm not ready to grow up just yet.
i know just exactly how lucky i am
to be MY Grandmama's girl.

illustration of the definition of a 'rotten piece of plunder.'

lucky.

being home is always bittersweet.
a safe place in an evil world.
relentlessly aggravating family members
you can't stand to be near for more than an hour,
but yearn to run back to everytime you leave the nest.
certain people,
certain places,
an inescapable time warp.
same people,
same places,
same situations.
the roads leading out of darlington county
are like that soapy wall lining of which bubbles are made.
it is that stretchy, elastic divider that allows you to step in and out of a place that's frozen in time.
yea...
anyways,...
friday night.
having drinks and dinner with my old girl scout leader,...
was weird.
but very AWESOME at the same time.
a reunion in february.
i am eagerly awaiting that.
my mommy will be okay, we think.
their new baby is adorable!!
she showed jack-ass who was boss!!
i'll link the pictures later.
i've gtg finish laundry and get prepared for school tomorrow morning.
returning home to my wife
is so refreshing.



I want to see how lucky Lucky can be

I saw you through my blind intoxication
My shock induced insane self medication
You looked at me and smiled
Said get ready to get wild
Sugar you just need a brief vacation

[Chorus:]
I want to see how lucky Lucky can be
I want to ride with my Angel and live shockingly
I want to drive to the edge and into the sea
I want to see how lucky Lucky can be

I was dried up I was starving I was mangled
I looked like hell twisted up and tangled
You whispered in my ear
The ghosts are gone it's clear
For too long you've been tied up you've been strangled

[Chorus]

I don't want to ride on the shotgun side
Don't want to be a quaint observer on this super sonic ride
Double down split the aces to the races
I feel lucky tonight

:-(

i already miss my pookie.


i hope my mommy will be okay.

an urgent dream.

for some reason or another,
i'm having this sense of urgency to complete my education.
perhaps i know why,
but i am unsure if it is so.
i want my own family.
that's no secret.
never has been.
but i want my Mawmaw to be there.
i want her to see it.
i want her to see that i'll be okay.
i know that she's proud of me.
but i don't want her to worry about that.
all around me,
i see them with their baby bumps.
those deserving and undeserving.
at night,
the ticking fuels my anticipation,
soothes me to sleep,
yet keeps me up.
i know that i am definately over romanticizing the notion of being with child.
but tell me this,
what is more beautiful than a mother to be?
the thoughts,...
they are relentless.
trying to swat them away like a common house fly is an absurd waste of time.
its useless.
we know the timing to correlate everything.
even the planning is amazingly exciting.
i can't explain it.
part of me wishes i could just squash it.
it is annoying,
seeing the baby supplies in the stores and daydreaming.
part of me feels foolish,
being lead by the nose hairs by a dream.
there is NO doubt in my mind,
NONE,
that it WILL happen.
i know what i'm meant to be.
definately not right NOW,
although you couldn't tell my harmones that,
but someday soon.
until then,
i shall be helplessly rendered to playing a game of half heartedly trying to squash that dream,
like a bug.
some days,
you're the bug...
other days,...
you're the windshield.

home is where the heart is.

okay, so.
out with the old,
in with the new.
we got two brand spanking new MATCHING recliners
and a new entertainment center.
the time spent on puttin that bitch together...
sheesh!!
the fishies come in on wednesday.
four female bettas...
Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, & Sophia.
i couldn't resist!!
and i'm thinkin we'll be gettin Houdini sometime soon.
i can't wait to get him!!
our house feels more & more like a home everyday.
LoL,
we seem to be outgrowing it quicker than we realized!!
i'm goin home next week,
as it is the last weekend before i start school back,
and my Pookie has to work four nights straight.
so,
family,
their new dog,
friends,
and bein home.




Sometimes it's hard to don't wanna look over your shoulder
'Cause you don't want to remember where you've been
There'll come a time you die,
If you could only hold her
'Cause I know that's where I am
So listen with all your heart
Hold it inside forever
You may find all your dreams have already come true
Look inside and find the part that's leading you
'Cause that's the beat of a heart
Sometimes you'll drown it out with all your rage and thunder
Sometimes you'll drown it out with all your tears
There'll come a time when you hear it and you'll wonder
"Where in the world have I been?"
So listen with all your heart
Hold it inside forever
You may find all your dreams have already come true
Look inside and find the part that's leading you,
'Cause that's the beat of a heart
No one can tell you how to get there
It's a road you take all by yourself
(All by yourself)
All by yourself
So listen with all your heart
Hold it inside forever
You may find all your dreams have already come true
Look inside and find the part that's leading you
'Cause that's the beat of
Oh it's the sweetest sound,
'Cause that's the beat of a heart

bastard(s).

so,
blah,
motherfuckers.
a mysterious puddle of liquid appeared on our kitchen floor last night
just in time to extend its warmest greetings.
i guess my face needed to hug the floor or some lame shit.
Face to floor: "oh, it is so good to see you, my jolly ol' lad!"
Floor to face: "a delight, it surely is!"
Face: "Crickey, mate! if you wanted to see me this bad, why didn't you just ring me up?"
Floor: "its cheaper. do you know how MUCH long distance is, these days?!"
Face: "you're still quite the dirty, dirty bastard. when's the last time you cleaned yourself up?"
Floor: "see, this is why we broke up. i just can't handle your rhetoric anymore. and besides, i'm in recovery, damnit."
my knee was messed up.
its still stiff,
like my dick (ha!),
but hey.
school starts soon.
8 am classes.
achk.
*sigh*
2nd chances can be wonderful.
they can be wasteful, also.
we'll see which choice Ms. No Personality shall choose.
i do not honestly know why i said i'd "man the book,"
seriously.
damn.
a winter get-up at that, too.
gah.
another dress.
its a conspiracy,
i tell you.
a conspiracy to get me girlie-fied again.
gah.
bastards.

nc vavation pics.

NC Vacation Pics



we had a BLAST!!
we're home,
with our babies,
safe & sound.
all is well.

amen, sista.

State Of Grace

Grace works down at Wal-Mart
For thirteen years she's punched that clock
Been ten weeks without a day off
She never gave it too much thought
Til one morning in the mirror
Two new lines opened her eyes
And suddenly it hit her
She still had the wings to fly
Attention late night shoppers
A two for one on broken chains
That's the state of grace
It's the weak made strong
It's finding what you're missing
Was right there all along
It's an open road to a better place
It's a life worth living
In the state of grace
Grace cleaned out her bank account
Bought a beat up camper truck
Turned her pink slip into personnel
Then tore her time card up'
As she drove away she wondered
What New York City'd be like
And would the stars really keep you up
On a clear desert night
With a front seat full of road maps
To help her lose her way
That's the state of grace
It's the weak made strong
It's finding what you're missing
Was right there all along
It's an open road to a better place
It's a life worth living
In the state of grace
Grace knew when she looked up
There wouldn't be a sky
If the dreams we've been given
Weren't supposed to fly
It's an open road to a better place
It's a life worth living
In the state of grace
It's a life worth living
In the state of grace

bah.

okay so tomorrow mornining,
bright eyed and bushy tailed,
cheryl & i will made headway to our NC beach house.
yes, i am excited.
maybe the ocean air will clense away this headache of mine that refuses to go away.
i don't know why it won't.
its not like a normal sinus headache,
so i dunno wtf it is.
tammy faye's gone,
harry potter lives,
and ...
well thats about it bc i really dont have anything else to say.
sorry to disapoint.
peace out, fart lickers.

the goings and comings.

So, my hand hurts.
And, I am sleepy.
I went home again.
It was great!
I was s’posed to return to Oburg Monday,
but returned Tuesday instead.
While home,
I had a FABULOUS time seeing my friends.
Truly amazing, it was.
I had two reasons for staying an extra night.
I’m hoping one of those reasons will turn out okay.
Being home…
again…
returning to old stomping grounds,
unleashed a wave of unpleasant memories of the girl I once was.
As crazy as I was back then,
I knew I couldn’t survive in that town.
I’d have to fight tooth & nail to find my way out.
and, I did.
Thank goodness.
I almost have everything I’ve ever wanted,
everything I’ve ever dreamt of.
The rest will come in its own time & space.
Reminders,
everywhere.
There’s nothing like going home,
and nothing sweeter than coming home.
Being home sheds the outer layers and reveals my core.
The fresh air felt good.
Now I’ll work on keeping that just the same.
its hard figuring out how to do that.
applying one algorhithm to a different problem…
causes for some adjustments to have the same solution.
aggravating,
but worthwhile.
Getting down to basics,
to what drives me,
what makes me happy,
what fulfills me…
again, I say…
There’s nothing like going home,
and nothing sweeter than coming home.

you're like comin home.

Riding restless under a broken sky
A weary traveler something missing inside
Always looking, for a reason to turn around
Desperate for a little peace of mind
Just a little piece of what I left behind
Well I've found it now
You're like comin' home
You're like a Sunday morning
Pleasing my eyes
You're a midsummer's dream
Under a star soaked sky
That peaceful easy feelin'
At the end of a long long road
You're like comin' home
You're like comin' home
Go ahead and let your hair fall down
This wanderlust, it's gone now
Here in your arms I'm safe from the world again
These are the days they can't be erased
Baby there isn't a better place
You're like heaven
You're like comin' home
You're like a Sunday morning
Pleasing my eyes
You're a midsummer's dream
Under a star soaked sky
That peaceful easy feelin'
At the end of a long long road
You're like comin' home
You're like comin' home
You're that innocence
That serenity
That long lost part of me

our (my) new baby.

celebrating the 4th in florence.

well i hope that others had a fun & safe 4th like i did!
my trip home was what i needed.
old friends somehow soothe the soul.
Ashley & Derrick are so awesome,
i quadroople love them!
i LOVED talking to ashley one on one.
it was awesome to compare stories.
Mikey,
well,
he's still Mikey.
LoL!
the fireworks in hartsville...
i didn't know that many people even KNEW WHERE hville was!!
goodness gracious!!
EVERYBODY & DEY MAMA WAS THERE!!
the memories of hartsville...
the good,
the bad,
and the ugly....
i missed Mikki & Michelle.
my, those girls have grown up so!!
and Matt!!
he's such a great friend.
Jackson ate my family up.
they,
of course,
ate him up with a spoon.
i absolutely LOVED being home,
but i missed my Bella and was glad to see her when she came to get me.
Tomorrow the G.I. Dr gets to do a bit of invasive pokey-pokey.
Then I get to drink some nasty stuff for another test of his.
yuck.
i just hope relief will be in sight soon there after.
*please*

the music goddesses have smiled upon us.

it doesn't get ANY better than this!!



Kelly Clarkson recently fired her manager and she's just replaced him with Reba McEntire's current manager and husband.


oh jesus who art in heaven, and all that other nonsense christian bullshit...a miracle has bestowed upon us. the pope would be proud.

happy birthday, princess diana.

so i watched the last half of the princess diana concert.
i, like the rest of the estimated 5 million people watching, i'm sure,
eagerly awaited elton to perform "candle in the wind", the princess diana version.
man,
that queer sho know how to make my dick go limp.
blue balls for nothin!!
the p diddy song brought tears to my eyes.
i know * shock *
if the princess' birthday is today
and they held this concert in her memory to honor her
because its been ten years,
that means that my Nana has been gone ten years.
that seems like a blatant lie.
september is approaching.
fast.
* sigh *
i MUST say that the recent CMT Crossroads
starring Reba & Kelly.
omg.
fucking awesome.
no other adjectives can describe it.
i reccommend TiVo-ing it.
(i'd say go to CMT.com to see it,
but them hoes didn't put any of their actual singing on there.)
so.
whatever.
pms,
illnesses,
and tension
have ordered up a plateful of reminders for me:
self control,
patience,
awareness of all (including and especially others),
boundries,
respect,
and dedication were all bittersweet going down my throat.
but they were my medication to knowing how remedy and solve the situation(s).
included are two song lyrics.
happy birthday princess diana.
____________________________________

Candle In The Wind (Princess Diana Tribute)
Elton John

Goodbye England's rose
May you ever grow in our hearts
You were the grace that placed itself
Where lives were torn apart
You called out to our country
And you whispered to those in pain
Now you belong to heaven

And the stars spell out your name
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
When the rain set in
And your footsteps will always fall you
Along England's greenest hills
Your candle's burned out long before
Your legend never will

Loveliness we've lost
These empty days without your smile
This torch we'll always carry
For our nation's golden child
And even though we try
The truth brings us to tears
All our words cannot express
The joy you brought us through the years

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
When the rain set in
And your footsteps will always fall you
Along England's greenest hills
Your candle's burned out long before
Your legend never will

Goodbye England's rose
May you ever grow in our hearts
You were the grace that placed itself
Where lives were torn apart
Goodbye England's rose
From a country lost without your soul
Who'll miss the wings of your compassion
More than you'll ever know

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never fading with the sunset
When the rain set in
And you footsteps will always fall you
Along England's greenest hills
Your candle's burned out long before
Your legend never will
____________________________________
Because Of You
Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me,
but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of youI don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

shameless photo's of the day.

friends.

my Bella is sick,
and mr fart blossom has lost his bottom 2 front teefies.
today i found myself doing MORE laundry.
cleaning more,
and being part Mommy,
part house wife.
i wouldn't trade my life for the world.
it is amazing how friends are the reminders of lessons learned.
in passing,
one tells you of something in their own life that evokes flashback memories and emotions within your own self
of something
somewhere
someone
from light years ago.
friends are the reminders of lessons learned from days gone by.
to my friends,
i say thank you.
i have the best friends a girl could have.

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."
"A true friend is someone who knows there's something wrong even when you have the biggest smile on your face."
"The best mirror is an old friend." --George Herbert
"A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence.-Sydney Smith
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.-Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

bah.

so its almost 11:30 on a tuesday night and i am absolutely bored to tears.
i've done all of the cleaning i'll do for today,
as well as all of the laundry i'll do.
i made a good dent in the post vacation chaos.
i'll finish tomorrow.
in theory,
i want to finish the rest tomorrow.
honey's getting sick with what struck me on the 1st day of our vacation.
she'll be okay,
she just needs some downtime.
so i am frustrated with the media,
and our government.
but what else is new?
diverting attention is america's specialty.
we're fucked anyways,
so i mean,
ya know?
ya try and nothing happens.
yea,
paris is helping flush our society right down the shitter.
but oh well.
i really wish i had something to say,
but i don't.
bah.
g'night.

this is what happens when grandma has you for 10 days.

florida.

okay so before Florida was the Harley fiasco.
my toes danced on the cliff of insanity.
thank goodness for that emergency vet place in Cola.
Florida was relaxing.
my first day there,
i get sick & had to sit it out.
nice, right?
yea i thought so too.
but i was up & at 'em the 2nd day.
its so nice there.
the most noise was a medic/fire truck going out to a call.
by the time monday rolled around,
i was plenty ready to get my babies.
jackson doubled in size
and harley lost weight.
my lil'est one got bitten on his tummy and hoo-hoo by ants.
lol,
never a dull moment at my mom's.
i'm glad to be home.
here are the florida pics!!

harley crisis.

Okay so wow.
The GI Doc wanted blood for a test.
That was horrendous.
Woman drove needle INTO my thumb knuckle.
Yea I'm so not happy about that.
I've been a childless Mother since Tuesday.
My Mom has them.
Tonight disaster ensued.
My Mom & Margaret had to take my eldest boy to Columbia tonight.
He had welts all over his face
and Florence being the wonderful cesspool that it is,
is lacking a 24 hour emergency Vet.
A shot of Benadryl and $95 later,
he is returning to Florence with his grandma.
Thank GOODNESS it was nothing more.
I 'bout liked to have had a breakdown as is!
He is my child.
I am his Mom.
It was agonizing to be so helpless.
I hate to see how I'll be as a Mother of an actual HUMAN infant!!
But all is well now,
so its okay.
Now maybe we can enjoy our trip with sound mind.
bnb.

tact.

so this weekend was amazing.
friday night,
i partied with an old friend of mine.
my 15 y/o sis mopped the floor with my drunk ass.
hadn't gotten drunk in a seriously LONG time.
it was great to see him.
he is a great friend.
my aunt...
delusions from her high state of disgrace
morph into defamatory absurd allegation that have no basis and are totally false.
grain of salt,
my dear friends.
grain of salt.
jackson and harley gobbled up by all.
the wedding,
short,
the reception,
nice.
a childhood friendspewed ignorant hatred,
which did shock me.
with little minds come little things.
it was interesting to see another childhood friend,
i was fake nice to her.
tact.
yes,
tact.
something us Southerners have seem to have long forgotten.
pictures are on the way as soon as i can upload them ALL.
peace out.

porches.

Tonight, I fixed my supper and ate it on our back porch to watch the thunderstorm. I sat there, in our screened in porch, looking out across the yard. Our humble little garden was drinking the water like Jackson eats his food; voraciously. I looked at our hard work and couldn’t help but to smile. Not because of a grandiose ego because of the fruition of our hard labor; no. What I saw through the night’s blanket of darkness, through the flashes of sporadic bolts of light, and through the much desired rain was happiness. I saw pure bliss at its finest.

Like a knee-jerk reaction, a rod of lightning snapped me back to another porch, another time when bliss was about as abundant as water in the Mohave. My nose pressed up against the glass of the screen door, the sky gray and humble. The clock just wouldn’t boil quickly as I wanted it to; the seconds seemed like hours on end. Everyone had a Princess on their minds, I, an Angel. Both candles burned out, long before their legends ever will. I painfully ached for her homecoming; she was my last rock. My saving grace in that time of despair, but then again, most grandmothers are.

The world didn’t stop for my broken heart then, and hasn’t as of yet. The tides came and went, and I soon found myself on yet another porch facing the lake I grew up on during the summer times. I was always captivated by the water. It represented the mystery of what was beyond the porch, beyond my parents. I resided in a world rich in fantasy, as do all teenagers, carefully planning out my days as a step ford wife to prince charming and avid world traveler. That water is what I yearned to immerse myself in, yet I feared it as a mouse fears a snake. It was my future, the unknown.

Just as sudden as that bolt from the blue, a cold wet nose touches my heel and I am brought back to my own porch. What I see is my wife eating her supper beside me, one little furry critter asking me to pick him up, and the other critter begging for food when he knows he’s not supposed to. Yes. Yes, this is my porch; my bliss.

jackson & milkyway's first swim together...

ro's.

paris spelled afghanistan and iraq.
AND she WANTS to do her time.
what has this world come to?
Rosie withdrawals makes me an edgy soul.
an addict without her fix
can be a grumpy b----.
all the while, my sons sleep.
to them,
paris a destination,
not a fixation.
they know no Rosie,
only Roses.
musings all around
with no canvas to paint.
what will i do?
its time to smell the roses.

blessings.

I have pondered the Reba concert much since our homecoming.
The concert was held in the most intimate arena I've yet seen.
It was warm,
but not intolerable.
Let me digress;
I am an avid Reba fan,
have been since my childhood,
pre "Fancy" days.
I've been to concerts where this lady has emerged from fire,
an airplane,
and a taxi cab…
ALL ON STAGE!!
For "Is There Life Out There,"
there were desks,
chalkboards,
graduates,
etc.
These performances were nothing short of a full fledged theatrical performance!
My goodness,
seeing 17 tractor trailer trucks in the Florence Civic Center parking lot was indeed a sight to behold!
In this recent concert,
there was colored lights,
and I'm sure I spotted some fog up there with her,
but she is a long way from changing clothes from behind a shower stall door!!
Another noticeable change was in her voice;
she did her yodel-kinda thing at the end of "Whoever's In New England"
instead of that high pitched end.
I am SOOOOOOO thankful we went;
our seats were FABULOUS!!
For a woman in her 50s,
Mrs. McEntire SHO' was SMOKIN!!
A rather magical aspect,
was that fire flies danced above us throughout the concert!!
It gave it a romantic atmosphere.
The diversity at the concert was moving!!
Gays outnumbered straights BIGTIME!!
A 15ish y/o girl that looked like Snow White,
Mothers that wanna be their daughters,
and a black man in a kilt!!
We had fun seeing Mason;
we always love to see him!
My future baby daddy is a true southern gentleman!
This Paris Hilton stuff is hilarious to me.
Whoah es me!
Our media is fixated on a spoiled heiress who can't hack 45 days in prison,
but not the soldiers who sacrificed their lives for an illegal war?
No skewed vision there,
is there?
I can't watch the TV news anymore;
the hatred oozes out my TV into my home.
I'm not blind to the hatred which resides in our country;
it just stops at our doorway.
This is our humble abode,
our safe place from this harsh world.
Thank goodness for that.

Pictures from this trip.

The Three Disgraces.

La Primavera is one of Sandro Botticelli's best known paintings. The angelic figures shown in this ethereal work of art all represent mythological characters. While viewing this painting at the Uffizi, my eyes were drawn to the fluid movement and delicate beauty of the Three Graces. According to Greek mythology, the Three Graces represent beauty, charm and joy. Contemporary mythological characters such as Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are the antithesis of grace. This makes them the Three Disgraces. They represent sleaze, trash, and desperate cry for attention. What makes these women think we want to see high resolution photos of their bald, flabby, and in Britney's case, Kevin Federline-infected genitalia? If they want to show off their crotch, why don't they just go ahead and pose for Playboy? Their girlie bits would be thankfully photo retouched to oblivion and our precious eyeballs would be spared the harsh detail of pimples, stubble, cesarean scar and general ickiness sullying their private parts.

r blog.

a lady after my heart:
her fave sweets are smores & rice crispy treats...
AND...

Brady writes:

Are you a Reba McEntire fan?

yes (says rosie)

life.

well lets see.
i feel like talking.
if we had tried,
we couldn't have planned our summer any better.
july will be the first real vacation with my family in 7 years.
i am eagerly looking forward to it;
boiled pnuts and an ice cold coca cola
sittin on the front porch gazing at the ocean.
amazing.
i went to the dermatologist,
mr overly nice dr
prescribed an oral med
and
a topical treatment.
i'm looking forward to feeling better about myself.
the ENT appointment is before florida.
and the gastroenterologist before florida, as well.
i'm DEFINATELY looking forward to that RELIEF!
i'm like 99.99% sure its IBS.
*sigh*
lucky me.
LoL.
i'm also kinda looking forward to going to florence for the wedding.
i bought a new dress.
me,
in a dress.
ha.
its a summertime, funky kinda dress,
so maybe i won't be so femme.
last night
i was traumatized.
the wonderful clusterfuck that i am,
dropped my nice ass cell phone into the shitter.
(which, thank bob, had nothing but water in it.)
its currently being dried out on our kitchen table.
cross ya fingers for me.
my boys and i went to see SHREK 3.
it was cute for what it was.
mom & cheryl saw PIRATES together.
they said it was loooooong.
i was suprised mom let me drive the twins on my own.
but i was ecstatic about it!!
jackson is doing well.
OMG HARDHEADED!!
but i keep reminding myself that he has to learn his boundries,
bc after all,
it is all new to him.
but the second my wife catches him in our garden,
its over for him.
my harley,
the fiercest squirrel hunter either side of the mason-dixon,
tried him damnedest to nab him a bunny last night.
i'm getting jacked up about seeing reba.
i found out that rosie,
my dream butch,
is touring with the true colors tour.
they'll be at the very same stadium in ATL as reba.
*sigh*
one day,
my butch and i will meet,
one day.
my mom bought my boys a new xbox 360.
they deserved it.
now,
if we can just get margaret a replacement ipod.
they still haven't nabbed that punk ass bitch who robbed them.
life is great.
it truly is.
my heart beats even deeper now;
so full of love
and it keeps growing.
anyways.
i'm through rambling.
peace out mudderfuckers.

wonderful

reba in atlanta.
reuniting with childhood friends in florence
florida at the end of june
and now
a prestine NC beach shore awaits us in July.
how Blessed are we.

bliss.

Memorial Day in Florence with my family, wife, and chi'ren.

words of encouragement.

from mrs. melissa etheridge to rosie.

wtf, man.

White House Seeks Lying Czar

and

G.O.P. Hopefuls Clash Over Who is the Whitest

i was blind, but now i see.

this year's American Idol was boring as hell.
it comes as no surprise that Jordin won.
I must admit that I was disappointed by the Divine Miss M.
I was hoping for a power house performance from the lustrous Bath House Bette.
either way,
it was wonderful to see her perform.
might I add in,
that Kelly Clarkson rocked the house.
oh,
how I love crappy TV shows.
there was absolute nothing on tonight.
however,
Elisabeth hasselback is a ignorant bitch.
but,
that’s nothing new.
I will always be on Rosie’s side.
none of that matters because,
as Reba sings,
talk is cheap and the price is high.
Recently,
the GLBT community lost one of its own due to this sheer outrageous catastrophe.
as a house wife,
i wondered if there was anything i could do about this
(along with this other war bullshit),
so i found a solution what i,
as an individual,
could do.
i wrote a letter to my senators,
imploring them to pass the Matthew Shepard hate crimes Act in the US Senate.
if you are as sickened by this heinous crime as i am,
please do as i did and give voice to well deserved justice for everybody.
this is NOT an act for gay marriage,
this is an act to PROTECT EVERYONE EQUALLY under the hate crimes statute.
i'll outline how to find your senators,
& a pre-written letter to send.
(this is the letter as given to me by the HRC.)
a simple email can and DOES raise awareness.
i have written emails to the senators before and have received an actual letter back via snail mail from one to whom i wrote.
please take 5 minutes out of your day so we can give hope to justice for all.

1- How to find your local senators-
http://capwiz.com/hrc/dbq/officials/
2- Pre-written Letter-
Dear [ Decision Maker ],
As your constituent, I am deeply concerned about hate crimes, and I am writing to ask that you represent the interests of your state by voting YES on the Matthew Shepard Act.Americans overwhelmingly approve of legislation to prevent hate violence.
In fact, three in four (or 68%) support expanding hate crimes laws to include sexual orientation and gender identity and giving local law enforcement the tools and resources they need to investigate and prosecute these tragic acts of bigotry.
I am confident that you will champion the will of voters in your community and the majority of Americans, and bring our federal hate crime laws into the 21st Century, by ensuring that all of our citizens are protected against senseless hate violence.
While a random act of violence against any individual is always a tragic event, we know that violent crimes based on prejudice are meant to terrorize an entire community. As Americans, we must defend our neighbors from becoming victims of bias-motivated violence.
I urge you to vote for this very important legislation.

We, as Americans,
for the time being anyways,
have the power to change this.
Tiananmen Square is proof,
as are Martin Luther King Jr. and Gloria Steinem.
this is still the United States of America.
do what you can to be a responsible and informed citizen
(unlike that dumb bitch Elisabeth H. on The View,
who is nothing more than a well placed widely viewed tool for the right wing propaganda.)


I would also like to leave you with an address of one of the two hospitals for wounded war vets.
please,
if anything,
send a postcard to tell these girls & guys thanks.
(I would post the address to Walter Reed Army Medical Center,
but “Walter Reed Army Medical Center continues to be overwhelmed from the tens of thousands of Americans showing their support to our Wounded Warriors here in the form of cards, letters, care packages and more. However, this patriotic level of support has not only heightened security concerns but has also increased administrative burden, drained resources and limited other functions. Therefore, the medical center is phasing out its ‘To Any Wounded Soldier’ mail program. It is instituting a more effective alternative for such American generosity.
Whether individuals or groups want to send a care package to a soldier, donate airline miles to help reunite returning military men and women with their families, support scholarship funds or send support to wounded service members, the organizations listed below that are dedicated to helping soldiers and their families.
http://www.americasupportsyou.mil
http://www.defendamerica.mil/support_troops.html
http://www.usocares.org/src/uso_donate.htm
http://www4.army.mil/ocpa/tooursoldiers/
http://www.redcross.org”



BROOKE ARMY MEDICAL CENTER
3851 ROGER BROOKE DRIVE
FORT SAM HOUSTON, TX,
78234

2.

sinus headache for 2 days straight.
joyous me.
ah,
but tis temporary, no?
somehow
i can see that i should be grateful for the headache.
at least i can have headaches.
i'm getting homesick.
i can't wait til next weekend.
yay!!

i wonder.

Not sure why,
but Prick has been in my head more than I care to like.
I wonder how he feels on my birthday.
I wonder if he thinks of me.
Not that I care what he thinks of me,
as he has made that blatantly and painfully crystal clear.

“Sometimes I think about you
Wonder if you’re out there somewhere thinkin' 'bout me
And would you even recognize the woman that your little girl has grown up to be
‘Cause I look in the mirror and all I see are your brown eyes lookin' back at me
They’re the only thing you ever gave to me at all”

I have no desire to attempt to erect another disastrous relationship with him.
But I think that now as an adult,
looking back,
it would’ve been nice to have truly been a daddy’s girl.
I also know now that parents are far from perfect;
mistakes are made,
especially when you’re the guinea pig.
But I also know that if you allow for it,
love can smother the anger and hatred.
To live one’s life submerged in that darkness
undoubtedly causes blindness to all.
I vowed to eradicate every trace of him from me.
But as time paces onward,
I’d be foolish to deny the reflection I see in the mirror.
You can see him.
While I may not like that,
I can also see where he isn’t,
as compared to where he was.
And I think that,
is quite grand.
"What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us." – Ralph Waldo Emerson

pimptastic.

bliss.

My decision to take the summer off was a challenging one;
albeit the correct one.
First con on the list:
the heat situation.
Fellow IBS sufferers can easily comprehend.
Second con:
Can't really spend loads of quality time with my Pookie
Third con:
Wouldn’t be able to freely concentrate on training Jackson.
Fourth con:
Skipping classes to travel.
Fifth con:
My attention would be stretched too thin to actually do what I’ve been wanting to,
such as get a couple of paintings finished,
and read a few of the books I’ve been wanting to complete.
Yes, it will take me longer to finish school,
but hey,
if I can take my own pace and keep a 4.0 GPA,
I think I’ll be doing FANTASTIC!!
I was unaware until this afternoon at how remarkably well behaved Jackson is for his age.
We took him to his first puppy class sponsored by our vet,
and the other puppy there was a 6 month old Shi-orkie.
Well, it was obvious to any dog owner that this dog has issues.
Aggressive,
unruly,
not house trained,
or crate trained.
Ha!
It’s been 2 whole days since our youngest son has had any accidents!!
He’s not aggressive,
he’s crate trained,
and mostly obedient.
I am a PROUD Mommy.
We were told what to work on (Come, Sit, Down),
and how to handle the whining.
And that was really all we were told to do!!
Speaking of Mommies…
Mother’s Day was fabulous.
My Mother-In-Law loved her diamond necklace we got her.
I’m sure my Mom will love hers too.
We’ll go there in about a week;
They weren’t home for Mother’s Day weekend.
Oh I cannot WAIT for this summer!!
The trips we have planned are awesome:
Georgia to see REBA!!
(For the SIXTH time, might I add!!)
Florida back to the Gulf Coast!!
Folly and Florence of course,
and quite possibly Georgetown/Pawley’s Island.
Yesth, yesth.
And,
and,
AND…
Bella’s gonna head to the bank sometime soon.
Yesth, progress is being made.
Life is great.
bnb,
IT really happens.

happy birthday, asshole.

I Wonder

Kellie Pickler

Sometimes I think about you
Wonder if you’re out there somewhere
thinkin’ ‘bout me
And would you even recognize the woman
that your little girl has grown up to be
‘Cause I look in the mirror
and all I see are your brown eyes
lookin’ back at me
They’re the only thing
you ever gave to me at all
Oh, I hear the weather’s nice in California
There’s sunny skies as far as I can see
If you ever come back home to Carolina
I wonder what you’d say to me
I think about how it ain’t fair
that you weren’t there to braid my hair
like mothers do
You weren’t around to cheer me on
Help me dress for my high school prom
like mother’s do
Did you think
I didn’t need you here to hold my hand,
to dry my tears
Did you even miss me through the years at all?
Oh, I hear the weather’s nice in California
There’s sunny skies as far as I can see
If you ever come back home to Carolina
I wonder what you’d say to me
Forgiveness is such a simple word
But it’s so hard to do
When you’ve been hurt
Oh, I hear the weather’s nice in California
And just in case you’re wonderin’ about me
From now on I won’t be in Carolina
Your little girl is off,
your little is off, your little girl is off
To Tennessee

so cute..

bnb.

my son adores laundry sheets.
ya know, the kind ya throw in the dryer with ya clothes.
he doesn't eat them,
or even try to eat them.
he just likes to chew on them and wrestle them.

update.

Wow.
An update is necessary.
Jackson is hitting a growth spurt, big time!
When we took him to the Vet for his second round of shots,
the little booger has gained 2 lbs in three weeks!!
But I tell you one thing,
my hair’s gonna go gray before its time.
I completely forgot about the hard part of house training.
Not just simple house training,
but a MALE DACHSHUND!!
if you’ve never owned a Dachshund,
then you can empathize.
Anyways,
so it has come to the day where a third grader delinquent can commit the “perfect crime.”
some rat bastard punk ass dipshit robbed my mama’s house,
taking a variety of stuff belonging to my siblings.
Anonymous tips:
the public’s best friend.
So it appears as if Orangeburg was in the news again.
*sigh*
Lucky us.
Cheryl & I did catch a few snapshots of our ALMIGHTY PROTECTORS wrapping up.
Here Here and Here.
Is it any wonder that our world is coming to Virginia Tech massacres,
a tyrant president,
global warming,
illegal wars,
and torture?

lmao!!

good-bye Mr. Lima Bean.

the lonely Lima bean
is now content & fulfilled.
he has joined his family
in the bowels of a rural septic tank somewhere in the area of south carolina.
good-bye Mr. Lima Bean.

the woes of a wayward lima bean.

the lonely Lima Bean
was doomed to a life of depression,
resentment,
and anger
when the giant woman
took his family away from him.
he shakes his fists in defeat
and vows vengence
as he screams
"damn you, woman!"

mmmm...

a stimulating dream this morning has refueled my lust for Rosie.
my,
my,
oh my.
such a tease,
she was.
only in my dreams
will i formulate a conspiracy theory to eliminate Kelly,
my rival.
LoL.
many fail to comprehend;
but it makes total sense to me.
the perfect butch.
mmmm...

the meaning of life.

ya think?

Bush Has One Of Those Days Where He Feels Like 68 Percent Of People Hate Him
May 2, 2007 WASHINGTON, DC—
In an East Room press conference Tuesday, President Bush told reporters that he had the "sneaking feeling" that 68 percent of the U.S. population hated his guts that day.
"Maybe it's just me, but when I woke up this morning, it really seemed like 60 percent of men and 77 percent of women didn't want to have anything to do with me," Bush said. "I'm even getting the feeling that nearly two out of every three people who identify themselves as devout Christians—people who usually love me—are giving me the cold shoulder lately."
Though Bush admitted he found it "disquieting" that more than two-thirds of the country thinks he is not the right man to lead the nation, he assured the public that he "won't let it affect the way [he does his] job in any way."

shit.

It comes as no surprise that Monkey Butt has vetoed the Iraq pullout timeline bill.
he has postponed thinking about this until 2009,
and is showing little appetite for compromise in his meeting with Dems today,
concerning a funding bill for Iraq.
Monkey Butt wants a blank check.
of course he does,
the more he can prolong the war,
the thicker his pockets get.
our congress MUST unite
to scrimmage up the required number of votes to over ride the veto.
but with that,
the parasite that is everyman’s’ agenda comes into play fucking the whole thing up,
sucking the blood right out of anything that could possibly be of any good for this country.
but never mind that,
all the attention is on who’ll replace Rosie on the view.
what a fucked up society in which we call home.
our focus needs to be readjusted
so we can more adequately see the strife within our own society,
instead of being the playground bully
and the hypocritical Christians attempting to “educate” the “Neanderthals” to Christ’s ways.
does this mean that God condones this war?
what kind of God would do that?
I was under the distinct impression that “God” was supposed to radiate love.
would this “God” approve the American death toll SINCE THE WAR BEGAN on 3/19/03,
it being ESTIMATED that American CAUALTIES in Iraq between 23,000 to 100,000?
WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE?!
when the media refers to these soldiers as “troops”,
we are again being desensitized to this ILLEGAL war!!
TROOPS ARE INDIVIDUAL MEN & WOMEN WHO SACRIFICED THEIR LIVES FOR AN ILLEGAL WAR.

WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!


This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when he first appears he is a protector. -Plato

PLEASE VISIT THIS SITE!!
http://www.antiwar.com/

9/11 First Responders Dying at Rapid Rate!!

update...

Well time for an actual update:
yesterday I had this freakish sickness thing.
my joints were inflamed,
my face was partially swollen,
I got a headache,
and I was both dizzy and nauseas as hell.
my baby had to pump me up with drugs so I could sleep it off.
and boy howdy!!
did I ever!!
that was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a long while!
my baby is growing so fast!!
he can now almost run up the back porch steps without hitting his chin on each step,
and his personality is blooming faster than the spring flowers.
I’m pretty sure I traumatized him today though,
when he began smelling like butt
I broke down and bathed him.
he just tried to get out the tub,
but he didn’t fight too much.
Sunday Cheryl & I went to Old Navy
so I could get some bday clothes.
I LOVE MENS CARGOS!!
they totally ROCK!!
school is drawing to a close.
yippieeeeeeeeeee!!
I’ll enclose a link to all the bday party links…
peace out.


MY BDAY PARTY PICS

queer!

now,
i normally do not read
ross the intern,
but i had to repost his post that is just,...
well...
QUEER!!


Today's topic is...
If you could bring back any sitcom from the past, which one would you choose and who would you cast in the roles?
I'd bring back Designing Women but I'd call it Designing Men and I'd play the role of Julia Sugarbaker (Dixie Carter) except I'd be called Johnny Sugarbaker and I'd be all Southern and confident and no-nonsense-straight-to-the-point-don't-mess-with-me assertive, only without the shoulder pads.