Finding the Purple.

today i had my therapy appointment
we talked of the trip to FLA,
learning to handle the panic,
VR's lack of attention,
the Wal-Mart situations,
and Nana.
the therapist was sane today.
she must be layin off her crack pipe.
then i went to my regular doctor.
everything checked out good.
but OMG!!
when i started going to him last year in like Nov.,
i weighed like 96 lbs.
today i weighed 114.
DUDE!!
WTF?!
i'll definately not lie;
that disturbs me.
i'll have to remedy that problem.
don't wanna start lookin like a fat pinguin.
liz thinks my English professor is a "DUMBASS"...
LoL
how great is that?
tonight we watched John Edwards
i think that was his name
he's the medium on the WE show, Crossing over.
the people on there,
the ones that were validated by their loved ones...
i felt a twinge of jealousy.
but he said something quite interesting on there.
he said to pray for a sign from your loved one.
i think i'll do that.
i could use that right now.
i mean, i know she loved/loves me, no doubt what so ever.
and like i said,
i believe,
i have faith in love.
when i talked to ellis this evening,
i told him i loved him.
i then instructed him to tell Alex that i loved him too bc Alex wasn't home right then...
Ellis just simply says, "Okay Sarah, but he already knows that."
that made my heart GLOW.
tonight Mawmaw told me that i had no idea how much she loves me.
i cannot emphasize how much that meant to me.
it just made today,
which was a hard day for me,
end really well.