This Little Light Of Mine...

today my cardiologist gave me a clean bill of health.
*WooT*
yesterday evening
my Bella, Harley, & i made our way to Flotown.
it was my early bday supper at my mom's house. wisabus joined us.
alone in the kitchen with my bella,
my mom quietly revealed to cheryl
"i'm glad sarah found you, you're good for her."
she then showed cheryl a side of her
that i've yearned for her to show.
basically, she let cheryl know exactly
just what she thought of her.
and wow,
was it ever great!!
i'm so proud of my mom,
she's moved on past fat bastard!!
i think my family's proud of me too.
i think they thought
i wouldn't ever be able to have a sustaining relationship
after the fat bastard/starlight fiasco.
its ironic,
how life takes you on a helluva ride.
i'm happy.
ya know?
and its not that superficial happy, either.
you know the kind i mean,
the kind you parade your new love around in front of the ex.
and it was always a certain ex you foolishly paraded around in front of,
the one who either hurt you the worse,
or the one who you really fukked over.
i'm happy,
like deep down happy.
like happy when i was a kid happy.
happy like when Nana was alive happy.
in that place inside me,
i'm finally at peace.
most of the anger has resided
to make room for forgiveness and love.
my happiness,
its coming from somewhere deep inside me,
way down past my gut,
past my heart,
past the nerves,
past the hurt,
the hatred that once thrived...
my soul is shining.
i never ever thought i'd be happy again.
especially with a wifey,
a country home,
a cute little doggie,
and a big and bright future headed my way.
i'm okay.
and i'll be okay.
i have come a long way.
i still have a big journey ahead of me,
but that's okay.
i'm eager to conquer it.
i have my shining light,
my faith,
strength,
love,
and forgiveness.
in a way,
to me anyways,
my tats signify that.
my purple star...
purple being my nirvana color,
the star symbolizing that infamous star to the right guiding me...
and ofcourse the chinese symbol for strength.

Bella, I know I say it to you all the time, but you are so beautiful to me. Yes, you are perfect...you're perfect for me. Thank you again...thank you for being wonderful you. You know I love you with all my heart, soul, and spirit. You are who I've been searching for all my life. The Gods & Goddesses really did make us for each other. You've made my life complete. Harley & I have a complete family now. "You are my inspiration..." Heh.
Love Me Always,
Your Princess