Enlightenment

I have come a long way yall.
My Gawd
Miracles do still happen.
In Girl Scouts,
They predicted that I would be the last one
To get married and have children.
Why did they say that?
Because of my wild streak and
Because my twins were all the birth control I needed.
Its funny though,
How life turns things around, isnt it?
Nan used to be the dork, nobody liked her,
Then BAM!!
She was so popular she barely had time for any of her old friends.
Ever since Mrs. & Mr. B had their bouts with cancer,
Nan has dramatically changed
again.
It seems like she is settling,
She’s no longer the outgoing rambunctious Nan
Who got on everybodys nerves.
Now, the former President of CC
Is engaged.
120 knocked off his pedestal
By a 19 year old EMT.
He was arguably the number one DarCo Ho Dog.
And I,
Shamefully,
Was his sidekick.
Look at us now…
He is on Nationally recognized Extrication teams,
Head over heals for a younger EMT,
And happy as Hell.
Me,
I have finally met my match.
Cheryl.
Like the song says,
* She knows how to hold me,
Without holding on *
I’m FINALLY on a fire department,
Actively headed back to school,
My wild streak . . .
Well . . .
It has been tamed down to me just fukkin with my hair.
I have come a long way.
No longer lost,
No longer the damsel in distress.
No longer carrying bleeding wounds,
Regrets,
Or resentments for those in my past.
I mean, ya know,
Its the past.
I was indeed a monstrous person.
But a caterpillars kinda funky and ugly lookin too.
The people in my past
Have helped me along on my road to self discovery and freedom.
I will not lie,
My DNA donor is still my akiles heel.
Time, love, and forgiveness
Will set me free of that imprisonment one of these days.
I cannot sit here and say
That if I saw Starlight or another whom I once loved out and about,
That it would not catch me off guard.
Now I have the capability
To smile,
Look to the Heavens to thanks the Gods and Goddesses
For watching out for me
And allowing me to find my way to my counterpart,
My soul mate,
My beloved,
My Bella.
During this past year, I have learned a shit load.
Number One:
She cannot read my mind.
I know how to write the words to express myself,
Speak them to tell her ( what's going on )!!
Communication is the key word here, folks.
Number Two:
Its the little things.
A note on the mirror.
Candle lit baths.
Making love.
Laughing.
Number Three:
It aint all hunky dory 24/7.
Yea, we may be what fairytales are BASED on.
But it is not as easy as it looks.
It takes work, communication,
Compromise, patience,
Understanding, and love to make this work.
Number Four: (On a personal note)
It does not mean a damn what others think of me,
Or my relationship with my Bella.
Their bigoted opinions do not dictate my self worth or self esteem.
The ONLY opinions that do matter
Are mine,
Cheryls,
And my familys. (And sometimes they can kiss my ass too, LoL!!)
Those who speak poorly of what she and I have,
Well . . .
Dont know the real me,
Are ignorant,
Judgmental,
Ill-bred morons with nothing better to do in their lives than talk about us.
I can only pray that they find peace within themselves.
I know I have found peace within myself.
It feels like a thousand pound load has been lifted off my shoulders.
I know I will be just fine.
I am a strong girl,
I have true close friends,
A supportive family,
And the most wonderful girl on my side
To be there with me when times get tough,
Or when I have a Sarah moment.
For the first time ever in my existence,
I have freedom in a relationship.
The reason behind that is
Non judging unwavering love.
I may still be finding my fashion sense,
My Yorkie,
My degree,
But alas I have found me...
And my one true love.

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.