Happy Birthday To Me

gotta love the gov't, huh
call me in for jury duty
keep me on call
then don't use me
inconvenienced for a gov't that won't let me get married
crazy shit, ain't it?
i realized i hated being in Florence
not because i'm so deeply in love with my girl that its "sicknin" (LoL, i love you Bella)
but because of all the memories both good and bad
i've faced my past
how can i not,
with those two reminding me exactly how horrible i was
forgiveness
forgiving myself.
this is a new year for me,
self improvement
my new years resolution.
tear those walls down
feel the emotions
don't run away
i don't think i am doing that
i think i am getting a chance at happiness
a chance to start over
a chance to learn to love myself
so i can give my girl my all
so i can give me my all.
you know what?
i wish her the best
i hope she never ends up in the stone garden
going home tomorrow,
home to where i belong.
where i am loved for who i am
not judged by who i was.
change.
its a good thing.
scary, yes.
but good.