Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
Harley
i put my Harley in a mini back pack kinda thing...
he looks SOOO thrilled, doesn't he?!
1 pic is on my chest,
other is on my back
Catching Up...
so we went to flotown
on cheryl's bday
to pick up
my doggy
i wuv my harley
then to o-burg
to the in-laws for a few days
we went to kmart while we were there
kmart SUKKS!!
NEVER EVER AGAIN will i EVER go!!
then we went to her nephews' football games in sumter
left o-burg on friday
wizasaurus came to chucktown fri night
saturday we went on an Eco-Tour
you ride a boat in the chucktown harbour
with a nature tour guide
we saw loads of dolphins
that was so frikkin cool
the boat took us to morris island
where we got to walk around for a while
after the tour back at the maritime cntr.
there was a wedding in the heat of day
with the Gullah gospel singers....
interesting...
from there
the 3 of us proceed to crosbey's
where we buy local oysters and local skrimp
oi!
i've had my fill of oysters for a while
sunday
i went to the "doc-in-the-box"/ER
a mystery outbreak
not even the docs can ID it
so they have me on
Zyrtec, Prednisone, Benedryl, and Aveeno Oatmeal Bath
woohoo.
fun, fun.
i'll post the pics a i get them from wisabus.
peace out, yall.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Taking The Dive
as the seconds tick by
my heart beats louder
its approaching the time
when i dive right in
the answer i already know
its funny how some words can be so hard to say
under a campfire
" feelin good "
under the stars
with mah dog
will somehow sum up
every hard lesson learned
the tears will overflow
and emotions will too
she doesn't know what's coming for her
she thinks i spent an ass of money
we can't afford on her present
very cheap monetary wise
but emotionally
its what you wait a lifetime for
so here i go
gonna take a deep breath
say a lil prayer
butch up a lil bit
and dive right on in
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Trans Sexual Vampires & Inner Peace
well today was very nice
very relaxing
when i awoke
my Bella
had most of the clothes done
so we played around for a lil while
then she cleaned up the bedroom
and i cleaned the dishes
then she cooked supper
fried fish and french fries
yummy
then she cleansed the house
the atmosphere is so nice
its free of impurities
later on, i got online
after she left for work
my uncle and i get into another star wars discussion
like old times
i'm still a dweeb at heart
what can i say?
then a vampire trans sexual IMs me on yahoo
he/she/it says
it wants to bite my neck
only me,
i swear
i'mma tell yall...
geesh!
only me
while meditating
i let my thoughts wander
i'm still coming to terms with my past
certain ex-loves that bothered me
but i am over coming it
just as i am with my anger
i've truly come to the conclusion
that everyone we encounter in our lives
have some sort of impact on us
be it a good or bad experience
it is all a learning process
nothing is a mistake
the difference
between a wise man and a fool
is that the wise man learns from his experiences
i have figured out
that there are certain people in my past
whom i will always have in my heart
the time spent with them
touched me in some profound way
i loved them
some all be it
on different levels than others
but nonetheless
i still loved them
i used to think that peace could only be attained
the day i was " over " those certain individuals
but if that day does ever come into fruition
then i have back stepped
because that means i will have forgotten
all those lessons that were so hard to learn
no longer do i yearn to be with them
i just yearn to never forget
so i can put my all into my relationship with cheryl
and not make the same mistakes again
its just a matter of coming to terms
being at peace
with my actions
words
mistakes
and choices
that once seemed so far fetched
now
i am there
the purple flows in and out
the circle has gone round
life is as it should be
peace is attained
thank you goddess.
La Dee Dah...
life is returning to normal now
thank goddess
happy sleep
giggling in my dreams
yummy
i can only imagine
going home this coming week
* woohoo *
gonna see my mawmaw,
my boys,
and get my shithead for a few days
i'm super excited
then we're gonna go to muh future in-law's
with muh dog...
woohoo!!
its also gonna be cheryl's bday
hmmm...
i love my Bella
i'm SOOOOO Blessed to have her in my life
again....
thank you, Goddess
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Sarah-1, Dr-0
what was once my breaking point
now no more
no outburst of anger
towards the individual
stood my ground
and prevailed
to be a true Bell(e)
* i love you Bella *
i suprised myself
by standing up
to the Dr
even though i was terrified
i fought my battle
and won
i didn't go off the deep end
no explosion of anger
only a suprising boost of confidence
and tears of joy and relief
then alas
sleep is attained
thank you goddess & god...
and Bella
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Chasing Sleep
i was SO excited yesterday
when muh doc
wrote me a sleeping RX
it felt like a ton had been lifted off my shoulders
knowing sleep was attainable that night
later we went out with diana
met a lil firefighter butch
who went to katrina-land for body recovery
very cool
came home
watched tv
took my sleep med
then...
fell asleep at 5 a.m.
it didn't work
DAMNIT
WEIRD dreams ensued
with a welcoming headache upon my awakening
called the doc to tell him
he never returned my call
will stage a silent protest in his office tomorrow
if the shithead doesn't help me
i still cannot comprehend
how i can be so exhausted
but not be able to sleep
achk!
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Finding Magic
exhaustion plaguing me
i think its a side effect of zoloft
we took off for Folly
the beach heals all
on the way
we see a homeless guy begging for money
at a stoplight
he looked at cheryl and said
"cheer her up and tell it could be worse,
she could be hooked up with me."
that put a perspective on things,
i tell ya
we go on to Woodys on Folly
for pizza
don't go there
it sucks
then we went cruising
ran into Carol the turtle lady
she invited us to the opening of the last nest
it was magical
though there were no turtles left in the nest,
i envisioned
ralph's lil cousins all scampering
towards the ocean
going on some innate instinct to
follow the moon to the waters of life
life is good.
find the magic.
believe.
thank the goddess.
THE Turtle Lady
Yep, her shirt does say Turtle Woman. And that, she is. Carol heads up the Turtle Ladies of Folly...there are currently 23 volunteers.
Folly Beach Loggerhead Nest
This was the last nest of the season. There were 115 eggs pre-hatching, 20 didn't hatch. This is average for the amount of successfully hatched eggs. This year there were only 30-something nests layed on Folly. The usual amount of nests is around 50. The reasoning for the decline in the nests is because Folly Beach renourished the beaches due to the erosion problem.
Friday, September 30, 2005
The Tale of the Asshole & the Black Widow
the monster she has become
is derived from a story from her own imagination
the girl i met
buried in the stone garden
the girl that is
a therapist's goldmine
metal face he called her
black hair
black nails
black lipstick
tis sad
it really is
i didn't let her break me
for that i am proud
i took responsibility for my actions and words
a leopard cannot change it's spots
she said
a Dalmatian is born with no spots
they only come at maturity
thats what i think
another lie in the web of deceit
perhaps her screen name suits her best
black widow
she's a deadly virus contagious to all
who seek out her web
an emotional vampress
with multiple personalities
i was strong in the midst of her wrath
no tears or blood shed on my behalf
not even any regrets
how i wish
i could've been a fly
in the back of that ambulance
i live in Charleston
with my wife-to-be
yet she asks him if he's my boyfriend
proof therein that she has no useful brain function left
good ol' predictable 120
pulls his asshole routine
heh
that routine is something
that'll withstand the test of time
he says we are close friends
then gets under her skin
by saying tho
i am gay
he is still my man
LoL
ha!
i can't wait to see him at LRRS haunted house
it has been way too long indeed
he has been a good friend
i can count on
that friendship means a lot to me
i am glad i am away from her
and that god forsaken town
and it's rumors
it only makes me
all the more
grateful and appreciative of cheryl
* sigh *
damn, i love my bella.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Purple
so today is our 6 month anniversary
woohoo
i am so Blessed and so fortunate
to have somebody like Cheryl by my side
she says i give her too much credit
i think not
an astounding beauty is she
she's my healing color
purple
i breathe in her scent
and with each passing hour
each wound on my heart is healed
each tear ever shed
wiped away by her love
her understanding,
compassion,
sincerity,
devotion,
and love
never faultering
always steady
every mistake from my past
makes our relationship
that much stronger
in my journey
to reclaim myself
there is no one blocking my path
no one to catch me if i fall
just someone by my side
with her hand gently on my back
for assurance
the freedom tastes so sweet
the purple,
no longer scary,
but a warm safe haven
that makes my soul come alive
with every kiss
Bella,
the past 6 months have been wonderful.
you have enhanced my life to a point
to where i am at a loss for words. i eagerly
look forward to spendingg the rest of my life
with you. we are so Blessed to have such a
strong, healthy, commited relationship. you
are everything i have ever dreamt of. thank
you for loving me and standing by my side.
"you are my sunshine, my only sunshine..."
i love you, mon femme bella.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Aliens, Fuzzy Ralph, & Blessings
well i went home again
spent a delightful evening with my family
margaret, mom, ellis, wisabus, cheryl, & i
all laughed and had a ball over supper
truly the best time spent with them in years
alex and steve were on the way home from hunting
cheryl and i both got sick
fun fun
stayed at ash's motel
the motel security staff
formidable intimidators
poor ralph the turtle
now all fuzzy
suppose i shoulda listened to my mom
and put him in alkiehawl
so tomorrow
cheryl and i will make the journey to her parents' house
for ralph's funeral
making awesome progress in therapy
confronting the reasons for my anger
its hard to do that
i can write words to melt my lovers heart
yet i cannot verbalize
the hurt caused by my sperm donor
my lil texan is okay
she was fortunate to not get hit by rita
what a relief that is
when we were in flotown
i treated myself to a hair cut and color
my auburn hair now has blonde highlights
my family doesn't like it
but i do
as well as my sweetheart
cheryl and i met wisabus
at redbone for lunch
that was the first time
we were disapointed by their food
on the new tv show called threshold
aliens have invaded earth
they invaded camden military academy
now
ISN'T THAT IRONIC
i coulda told yall a helluva long time ago
aliens invaded that friggin school years ago
and his name...
billy doar
cheryl is on her mission
to find a new job
cross your fingers
while in florence
i put yellow daisies on my nana's grave
i am finally at peace with that situation
i still have my angel alive in my heart
life is hard
but when you sit down
to look at what's really important
family, friends, your loved ones, and your health
life is good
we need to observe
the catastrophic chaos and enormous craziness
in today's god forsaken world
and count our Blessings
to be thankful for what we do have
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
A Dead Turtle, A Babboon's Ass, & Sickness
its been a while since my last post
internet withdrawals sukk
hope to get our pc back this week
a lot has happened
cheryl had an er trip
migraine & very high blood sugar
then my mama linda went in the hospital
like a TRUE daughter,
i rushed to florence to see her
to make sure she'd be okay
i'd wanted to return back to florence
for her return home from the hospital
but i got sick
damnit
i wanted to clean the house and cook her supper
so she wouldn't have to strain herself
she knows i did everything i possibly could to help her
cheryl & i went to folly
and came upon a dead corretta (loggerhead turtle) hatchling
it was so awesome and sad
sad it didn't make it
awesome to find
we have it preserved in a jar
therapy gets harder
as the seconds tick by
they put me on zoloft
we'll see how it works
they also want to test me for anemia
blah blah blah
i hear them drone on
katrina...
what can i say that's not been said
our land of the free
now the land of anarchy
as its prisoners beg the government for help
their pleas fall on deaf ears
heil hitler?
no
heil bush?
hell no.
he's nothing but a babboon's ass
trying to become a tyrant
in our hour of crisis
posing for a picture
holding a katrina effected baby
is supposed to automatically
cleanse his hands of the blood
from our soldiers who are
playing the child's game of marco polo with bin laden?
i fukking think not.
bastard.
i said it before
and i'll say it again
karma...
both a Blessing and a Bitch
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