relationships.

People keep inquiring about my state of mind,
But I am unsure as to what to say.
Inside my heart and soul lies a melting pot of a potpourri of rampant emotions.
It doesn’t seem right,
People carrying on with their everyday lives
When he and his wife are six feet under.
Not that my life has ever revolved around them,
But this all seems so surreal, unnatural.
It isn’t like a nightmare,
It is more like a hindering thought that is fucking persistent as hell.
Another total burden right now is my teeth.
I broke down today and called my doctor,
Begging him to fit me in asap.
I got some serious antibiotics, painkillers, and snoz spray.
Cheryl has my painkillers,
So there’s no need to worry.
I’ve got to call my therapist tomorrow and start that all over again.
I’m eager to do so.
I do not want to keep this stuff bubbling beneath the surface,
Awaiting a maddening volcanic explosion.
I cannot afford that;
I have too much at stake.
I’m going to put my whole heart into these new sessions,
And throw myself head first into this semester.
I’m doing so good,
I’m proud of myself.
I’m not as far along as I’d like to be,
But that is what progress is for.
I don’t really do New Year’s resolutions.
However, this year is an exception:
I will not drown in the life threatening undertow that is the Barrs.
This year is all about relationships.
Valuing them,
Solidifying them,
And just enjoying them.
Because I have recently concluded that they are what life all about.