/breathe.

i am discovering many things;
it is hard to keep a set of twin 12 year olds occupied,
"family jewels" are a precious commodity,
fuck or god damnit rolls as easily off their tongues as hey or whats up,
their musical repertoire is much broader than mine
(seeing as to how their favorites include those born 30 years MY senior),
they try to be big and bad but underneath it all they still don't want to sleep alone,
my dogs are annoying, hard headed assholes whom i love and loathe simultaneously,
and it IS possible to unknowingly get sun burned in 68 degree sunny weather while doing yard work.
my top half looks like a damn strawberry,
while my bottom half is as white as cream...
*perverted joke of the day*
strawberries and cream.

ha. okay.
achk.
nevermind.
it sounded funny in my head but now that i've typed it out and actually LOOKED at it,
it looks stupid.
so cross that out.

ah, the beckoning sounds of burping, farting, smelly twelve year olds...
nothing quite like it.

peace out, my friends.
i am being called to show who's the boss on the super nintendo.

i...
so...

ROCK.

i also just discovered that i feel TOTALLY helpless when a pre teen looks at me for help when he's in mid puke.

"what THE HELL do i do?!" ran through my mind,
but this THING inside of me kicked into over drive.
i poured a cup of ginger ale, and made the boy take pepto-bismal caplets.
after he gained some composure,
he took the vomit soaked trash can and towel out onto the back porch,
as i ran him a new bath and offered him girly bubble bath without any future threats of humiliation about it,
then persuaded him to stay in the newly drawn non-bubble bath to "let the medicine kick in."
then, i put his ass to bed with mr. shit breath himself.

so here i sit listening to a mixture of the Juno Soundtrack
and various other songs,
contemplating what just occurred.
it coulda been worse,
especially that its Alex, not Ellis...
one my fellow hyperchondriac.


speaking of being a hyperchondriac,...
i feel a bit better.
not on the outside (because be damned my allergies),
but on the inside.
i feel a bit more complete...
a bit more at peace.
i don't know why,
because i don't know what will happen,
but for whatever reason, i have faith.
maybe this is what the christians talk about?
i don't know.
maybe its just because spring is here?
maybe this isn't a coincidence?
spring is a rebirth,
and its when my birthday is.
Persephone has returned above ground.
on the inside it just feels like whatever's out there,
whatever that driving force is,
is saying to me, "okay, okay kiddo, you're taken care of for a bit. breathe."