A Lil Bit of Faith

what is wrong with me?
i know exactly what i want for Crimmus
and now that my prospects of getting that thing i want aren't so hopeful now.
i'm disappointed by anothers' wealth.
how shallow can i be?
my Bob.
i mean, i know i'll get what i want eventually.
now it seems it may be january or february.
i wont know until Crimmus Day.
i have been waiting and waiting...
its just one tiny thing...literally.
and i know,
i've gotta let go of the material things bc all things are temporary.
we have one go round on this Earth,
and there is nobody alive who can provide sound PROOF there is an other worldly existance.
the more i contemplate of the whole religion thing, the more i wonder.
if the Bible is SO concrete,
why have people fought non-stop about it for centuries?
if there is a God,
why then did He give humans cancers?
if He preaches love to all,
why all the hate,
and why am i going to Hell because i love a woman?
does that mean He is a hypocrite?
how is Bush going to Heaven,
but i go to Hell?
how does God defend that?
how did God come about?
i mean, if God made the world,
and made us,
who made him?
does he too have MADE IN CHINA stamped on his under side?
is God friends with Allah,
Buddha,
Santa,
or that Scientology guy?
who'd be the good guy when comparing God & Allah?
i mean really...
i'm not slamming anybody, anything, or nothin.
i'm genuinely curious.
if God was a Jew,
and He made us all,
then wtf was He doing with Hitler?
why did God make Earth different from Heaven?
why do we have to be tested to get into Heaven?
is Earth Heaven itself?
or is Earth just a snow globe paper weight sittin on God's desk?
and what if, hypothetically,
Mary was the chalice?
does that mean the present day living descendent of Jesus gets through this world scott-free?
she/he can be a gay wiccan murderer and still go to Heaven post Earth existence?
and really, how'd Moses part that water?
how'd all those animals fit on one boat?
i can see a teacup Yorkie sittin next to a great white shark sayin,
"so yea. i'm excited about this whole shindig, how bout you?"
eh.
i dunno.
nobody does, i think.
i mean don't get me wrong,
people do BELIEVE in their FAITH.
and that's cool.
but its not fact.
some would say that's all we got.
i suppose i'm just trying to find that Faith i can Believe in without question.
as for now, i'll just have a lil bit of faith that i get my Crimmus wish.
thats enough for tonight.
peace out, yall.