bnb.

am tired of being tired.
blue toes aren't good on me.
loss of appetite.
moronic secretaries @ doctors' offices make my BP rise.
cardiology appt in march
bastard eng professor
get my new PC in march
wedding in march
so much to be thankful for.

for my bella.

grinding nut butter.

all my stresses
took a day's escape
to visit the cure-all place,
folly beach.
i adore that place.
the sea heals all.
it truly does.
we went to some whole foods market
fantabulous
a sign said-
grind your own nut butter!!
hmmm...
rock on.
now back home
i feel better
but all the stresses are not gone.
looking for my happy purple.
bnb.

fucktard.

same same same.

94.
still an 'A.'
math average is 99.5
*happy hamster dance*
worried about my grandma.
she didnt go to the church talent show
"bc her side hurt as well as her back"
same same same
gw gearing up
fake WMD all over again
war monger monster is hungry again
power and destruction can curb his appetite for only so long
WAKE UP PEOPLE
impeach our tyrant!!
same same samequiet

the noise
quiet the mind
let the purple shine.
let it heal.

yesterday.

yesterday was tough.
i awoke,
knowing it was gonna be a rough day.
while in class,
we saw the orangeburg soldiers leaving to go to afghanistan.
that hit home.
that made it all real.
on the way home from school,
people were lined up either side of the road,
to send off the soldiers with support.
that choked me up.
it infuriated me.
it hit home.
we NEED to get IRATE!!
support the troops, not the war!!
i emplore you to make a difference.
our sons, daughters, husbands, wives, sisters, brothers, moms, and dads...
it is THEM who're getting MURDERED.
MURDERS CONDONED BY OUR PRESIDENT.
this country has been DESENSITIZED to this war.
we don't see, hear, or feel shit!!
we need to quit being conformists
AND WAKE UP TO THE SMELL OF BLOOD!!
anyways.
back to yesterday.
then after i got home,
Bella and i went and bought our rings for our ceremony.
we get home after buying those and our groceries,
only for me to find i made an 86 on my first english paper.
its a high 'B'...
i hate this rat bastard professor.
i made all 'A's' in last semester's english class.
ugh.
then,
this anna nicole smith thing.
poor woman.
i mean, really.
i know she was always a drama queen,
but damn.
i think it was suicide.
couldn't handle losing her boy.
i don't see how anybody could get through that.
i hope she's free, where ever she is now.

this weekend.

this weekend,
heartbreaking.
an outsider looking in,
i must ponder;
what the HELL is happening to my family?!
my mom,
intellectually brilliant,
but common sense moronic.
steve's an ass.
my boys,
my god.
margaret,
life is confusing enough as is,
being a teenager.
my aunts,
the epitome of role models.
my grandma,
it breaks my heart.
Bella,
still in pain.
maybe a dry socket.
my frustration mounting,
on matters hanging above my head.
i sought out something i've left behind at my mom's for years.
my Nana's PJ's i purposefully tucked away in my mom's hopechest.
her stains still on them.
i'm 24 years old,
yet this is my "safety blanket."
working on our big suprise.
i hope it comes into fruition as i'm hoping it will.
hard work,
and good luck we'll need.

the clone war.

my fingers swell.
the more they do,...
the sooner i hope to hear from VR.
only 10 showed for class today.
the teacher adores me.
still a teacher's pet,
i am.
hmwrk, hmwrk, hmwrk.
i'mma bleed hmwrk out my veins now.
i had pancakes for b'fast this am.
my girl is so great!!
so anywho,
i ate at 9.
by 10:30, it still hadn't...digested.
(which, those of yall who know me, KNOW thats odd)
so i'm sittin in class purty as i please,
like 7 minutes left before its time to go,
and BAM!!
a line of gaseous bubbles infiltrates my derier.
like soldiers,
clones,
like the clones in Star Wars,
there were SO MANY,...
marching one by one (hoorah, hoorah),
they bring their unruly reign of terror upon my (metal) desk.
so i start usin my "pucker string"and sweatin.
i KNOW i had that anxious, nervous look,
yall KNOW what i'm talkin bout!!
and those who deny that are just in-the-closet-farters!!
so i'm starin at the clock,
praying that my time-bending super powers kick into action, like Hiro's.
but alas, my super powers fail me again.
i'm thinkin of what strategy i'mma use,
ya know?
bc ya dunno if they're gonna be SBDs
or
sound like sumin that come outta peter griffin's ass.
then,
karma jumps in on the gang bangin action too!!
the teacher starts calls on me to answer some stupid question.
hell if i know wtf i'mma be usin integers for in my real life!!
so, i'm REALLY concentratin on my super powers right about now...
as if it couldnt get worse...
she holds the class over by one minute.
one,
LONG
minute.
thats 60 seconds of 100% concentration on my super human power that has repeatedly failed me.
i could feel the cannon being loaded,
and was now totally sure everybody could see the panic on my flushed face.
relief, i felt, as she dismissed the class.
a little bubble here,
a lil bubble there,
here a bubble,
there a bubble,
everywhere a bubble!!
as i walked to our car in the empty parking lot,
well...
full satisfactory relief LIFTED my spirits.
what a day.
now, i cant wait to go home tomorrow!!
peace out happy farters!!

giggety, giggety, GOO!!

she sez 2 impeach.
people freak.
ET as shitty as STAR magazine now.
get their facts str8.
i got a 105 on my first math test!!
i rock!!
*sigh*
nm 2 say 2nite.
its cold & i'm off like a dress on prom night.
happy farting!!

bella.

Cowboys ride into sunsets
The good guy always gets the girl
Cinderella has just fit
A glass slipper that changed her world
We all know the stories
We all know the fairy tales
We all get the glory of making it for ourselves
From the beginning
We're all looking for a happy ending
Every dream of winning
Every love we've been in
Right from the beginning
We're looking for a happy ending
We've come here with nothing
And take it with us the day we leave
The first and last breath don't matter
It's all the ones that are in-between
What's the reason
What's the reason the caged bird sings
It's why we see it in the movies
All the way to the closing scenes
From the beginning
We're all looking for a happy ending
Every dream of winning
Every love we've been in
Right from the beginning
We're looking for a happy ending
And all those dreamers who have come and gone
Who've reached for the stars, who've overcome
You're the hope, you're the wish, you're the truth
Baby, here's the proof
Baby's born in this ghetto
Baby's born with a silver spoon
One tells his Mama I have a dream
One tells his Mama I want the moon
From the beginning
We're all looking for a happy ending
Every dream of winning
Every love we've been in
Right from the beginning
We're looking for
From the beginning
We're all looking for a happy ending
Every dream of winning
Every love we've been in
Right from the beginning
We're looking for a happy ending
__________________________
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.
________________________
Bella, I'm left at a loss of words when it comes to telling you how much I love you. Thank you, Pookie, for everything you do for me. I'm a better person because of you. I love you back, my Bella.

piss on the bush.

surgery for my poor Bella.
she'll be fine.
what a feast we had,
Beaufort Stew, Alaskan King Crab legs, & Crawdads!!
TRIPLE yummy!!
mr bobby...
so funny.
bit the head off.
yes, that part of the crawdad IS muddy.
LoL!!
deadlist weekend in iraq.
who the hell is going to get fired up?
they are not just 'troops' killed.
they are sons, daughters, moms, dads, sisters, and brothers.
so much more.
we lost thousands on 9-11.
in fighting we lose more.
we are letting them win.
we are allowing more americans to be killed.
how is this justice?
how is this preserving our country?
we are losing.
it seems to say,
we lost our integrity when Bush foolishly invaded iraq.
it truly is all a pissing contest.
piss on you, mr president.
hilary has thrown in her bid.
are we ready?

sweet sweet karma.

sweet karma.
god how i adore it.
i've strived so hard to move lifetimes away from my old life.
i didnt think i was better than them.
i just didnt want to end up stuck in hartsville,
living in a trailer park,
with 5 kids,
and trading my food stamps for drugs.
i was and am better than that lifestyle.
i said lifestyle, not the people.
though some of them,...
anyways,...
my point is,
it does my heart good to see how far i've come,
and then when i stop to get a breath,
and look back...
those people,
those people my world revolved around for so long,...
those people i loved with my all (at that time),
those people i believed and believed in so fiercely,...
they are STILL in the same place.
the SAME DAMN PLACE.
the part of me that loved them,...
the girl in my memories,
that girl who loved them,...
she wants to run to them screaming saying it can be so much better than that.
they just hafta want it!
if they want it, they can have it.
they can be happy.
life can be good.
but the girl i am NOW,
the girl i am now knows better.
the girl i am now knows the heartache in believing in lies.
the girl i am now is happy.
the girl i am now is happy that karma truly does work.

the wonders of my life.

i awoke this morning to the wondrous sound of air rushing out betwix a pair of ass cheeks.
ah.
the perils of my life.
so get this,
bush is critisizing the iraqi's hangings of saddam and his brother.
i'll be damned.
since our beloved president is so intelligent,
perhaps he would heed this suggestion:
send cheney.
he knows how to shoot em!!
but on second thought...
cheney would need more trainin.
he didnt kill his first victim!
the high morals of this country,
yes sireeee bob.
i tell yall what.
we goin to hell in a hand basket.
purty as ya pleasin.
speakin of no morals,
lemee skip to my fave celebrity feud of the moment:
ro vs dump truck.
ms nj had to resign cuz she got knocked up,
one posed in some risque pics,
and the other's in rehab.
dump truck is OBVIOUSLY rubbing off his moral code on his girls...
rubbing off...
too easy.
not gonna take that hot shot....
oh no i di'nt!!
idol's back on...
and though its funny,
the true hilarious antics are coming from ms abdul.
she sho were awful thirsty!
(notice her drinkin that shit through a straw too?! LAWSY that girl's got some damn balls-o-steel!!)
had my eye appt today.
i evidently have one baseball & one football for my eyes.
how endearing.
company this weekend.
we gonna have us sum guud fixins!!
i cant wait for my frogmore stew (aka beaufort stew)!
first math test next week.
i am hoping for a pretty decent grade.
peace out, fart masters.

Group Launches Bid to Protect Mammals- Check it out. Its got some very odd mammals, yall!! http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/group-launches-bid-to-protect-rare/20070117132009990001

bnb.

without fail,
she calls to say Gump is on.
i love my grandma.
she's the best.
the start of a new week.
unsettling frustrations ahead.
uncharted territory.
breath and believe, says ro.
here we go.

damn.

schofield engaged.
wow.
seriously...
wow.
to the boy who lived 3 houses down from me.
indeed it is a very small world.
sounds like she has come a long way from Frank in NY.
she seems like 2 lifetimes ago.
Girl Scouts,
Alex,
Liz,
Jess,
Spring Break,
William,
Fat Bastard,
Tray,....
all stemming from her.
Every star has its place in the Heavens, I s'pose.

First Day.

first day.
not as bad as i thought.
overwhelming, yes.
hands already hurt.
all is well.

detraF

on the "foul smell that has wafted over NYC"
(which i wrong in assuming that apparently the bad smell WAS nyc...)
i saw this quote in an article:

"It may just be an unpleasant smell," Bloomberg said. "Our suggestion is that people should do their best to ventilate areas, open their windows or turn on any fans until this gas passes."


now, THATS comic relief, my friends.
can you imagine if it was just some nasty yankee who sharted?
perhaps the stench is indeed just the "Dump Truck"?
this has the potential makings for a classic SNL sketch, me thinks.

Bless My Stars

tis the dawn before a new semester.
my new semester resolution is to keep my GPA up high as possible.
my Fall '06 transcript gives me a 4.0 GPA.
the pride felt with that still a bit wobbly.
maybe i'll be steady on my feet at the end of this '07 Spring semester.
good tidings to moi.
monday a busy day.
tuesday the first day within those halls.
i'm a nervous kindergardener all over again.
went grocery shopping and cleaned house today.
hosting supper for her parents tonight.
post Gracie aggrevation will test me.
but all is well.
Bless my stars.

here's to 2007

2006 was a big year for Little Tink.
she grew up.
kicked a few nasty habits.
got my priorities in line.
returned to school.
found old friends.
made new ones.
got rid of the final toxic ones.
and the biggest of all...
i started to truly appreciate things.
my wonderful wife,
my awesome dog,
the way our yards look in a summertime down pour,
how a four wheeler and a dirt road can soothe your soul,
my friendships with my best friends,
my crazy Mawmaw and her repetative stories,
my beautiful sisters,
my silly brothers,
my mom,
how fragile life is...
its so fragile.
its a Blessing to enjoy,
but when taken away,
a gut wrenching heart ache.
its a beautifully tragic fragile state of being.
learning to walk that tight rope,
and finding your inner balance of being...
that place between the stars and earth,
that place between a midsummer night's dream and a cold winter's bite,
somewhere between the mountains and the oceans,
the spring and the fall,
love and hate,
tears and laughter,...
that place...
that's what matters in my life.
that's my happy thought.
no more folklore,
no more childhood fables.
no fairytales.
just my life.
my wonderful,
splendidly fulfilled life.
here's to 2007.

Lovin the Wiki

gotta love wikipedia
" "White trash" are perceived as having crude manners, abnormally low moral standards, and lack of cultured behavior and/or education. Swearing, smoking, promiscuity, drunkenness, overly loud and animated behavior in public, and gambling (especially the copious purchase of scratch-style lottery tickets) are examples of "white trash" vices. The label might be applied to a household that, for example, lives in a decrepit apartment or trailer, has a large family, lacks indoor plumbing, and has a yard strewn with debris or perhaps a non-functioning vehicle. "